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Funny stuff...B-)

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  • Funny stuff...B-)

    For your enjoyment...

    1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person
    to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

    2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything,
    but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the

    3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the
    end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

    4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
    dying of nothing.

    5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had
    an argument going.

    6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
    talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

    7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice
    about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice
    about men is they're a bunch of liars.

    8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

    9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
    attention to criticism.

    10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred
    dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

    11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
    world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have
    come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

    13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers
    exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly
    disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
    inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has
    already happened.

    14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
    a whole box to start a campfire?

    15. You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here
    legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long
    as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late
    with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster
    in charge of immigration.
    Aim high and consider yourself worthy of great things