On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're No. 1 in the No. 2 business."
__________________________________________________ _
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
__________________________________________________ _
At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
__________________________________________________ _
On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
__________________________________________________ _
On a Plumbers truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
__________________________________________________ _
Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
__________________________________________________ _
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
__________________________________________________ _
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
__________________________________________________ _
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
__________________________________________________ _
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
__________________________________________________
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take
appropriate action."
__________________________________________________ _
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
__________________________________________________ _
At an Optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the
right place."
__________________________________________________
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
__________________________________________________
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
__________________________________________________
My "personal" favorite....
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
__________________________________________________
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
__________________________________________________
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
______________________________________________
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
________________________________________________
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if
you don't, you will be."
________________________________________
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up.
__________________________________________________ _
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
_________________________________________________
At a Propane Filling Station
"Tank heaven for little grills."
_______________________________________________
And don't forget the sign at a Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
"We're No. 1 in the No. 2 business."
__________________________________________________ _
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
__________________________________________________ _
At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
__________________________________________________ _
On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
__________________________________________________ _
On a Plumbers truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
__________________________________________________ _
Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
__________________________________________________ _
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
__________________________________________________ _
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
__________________________________________________ _
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
__________________________________________________ _
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
__________________________________________________
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take
appropriate action."
__________________________________________________ _
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
__________________________________________________ _
At an Optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the
right place."
__________________________________________________
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
__________________________________________________
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
__________________________________________________
My "personal" favorite....

"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
__________________________________________________
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
__________________________________________________
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
______________________________________________
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
________________________________________________
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if
you don't, you will be."
________________________________________
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up.
__________________________________________________ _
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
_________________________________________________
At a Propane Filling Station
"Tank heaven for little grills."
_______________________________________________
And don't forget the sign at a Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."