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Feeling down on Father's Day???

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  • Feeling down on Father's Day???



    Hi All

    Not sure where to post this but here goes....

    Just got back from a long day at my parents place....Mum has just been recently diagnosed with Dementia / Alzheimers and so... may be the last Father's day we have together as a family.

    Feeling really sad seeing my Mum as a completely different entity today...normally a tiny little Christian Lady who's fun to be around...but today she's in the midst of a pyschotic episode. She's been yelling abuse at some 'imaginary' people who haved moved in next door and have taken over her home.

    Not sure which is sadder...watching my Mum disentigrate before my eyes...or just watching my Father having to witness his bride of some 50 odd years dissappear before his...

    Almost praying for a major crisis to 'intervene' and just take her as we remember her...

    Anyone else had to go through this ??

    And how did you manage to get through it ???

    DQ

  • #2
    with my head held high and memories firmly planted in my head.
    Just keeping being her son. she may not be able to tell you, or show you,
    but just keep going, for her sake.

    Comment


    • #3
      DQ, sounds pretty sad, your poor mum. Ive never had to go through this and hope i never have to. Keep your chin up, I know it can be hard, but...what else can you do?
      ZippySig.com

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      • #4
        What envy said...
        My nan is the same. Forgets who i am, doesnt know if all her sons have ever met each other (despite living under the same roof for 18 yrs). Like you we are all hoping something will intervene as she does not have a great life.
        Just do the best you can and love her like always
        I was just raising hell I wasn't doing no harm, the cops could not appreciate my natural charm.

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        • #5
          Yeah...I know...not sure what to do. Been home for a little while just bawling my eyes out...guess it the first stage in the grieving process...just need to share the sadness tho...it's pretty overwhelming

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          • #6
            Keep it together and be there or your dad. That's a hell of a difficult thing.

            Chin up.
            EXPERIENCE: noun: Knowledge or skill derived from actual participation or direct contact rather than mere study, interest, or internet.

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            • #7
              Hey D Q. It's tough, I know. I saw my Grandmother go through dementia, and the hardest part was seeing my Mum have to see her own Mum go down-hill and forget who she was. They have good days and bad days, and all you can do is be there when they need you. Stay strong. All the best.

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              • #8
                D_Q, do you have anything really special from her childhood or teens (that isn't easily damaged). It can sometimes provide some comfort and an anchor for people at those times.
                "He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice." Albert Einstein

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                • #9
                  Hey DQ.....my dad had a little of that in his last couple of years...senile dementia they called it....was very hard on mum...just try to be there for your dad as much as you can
                  sorry to hear
                  Life's short, stay close to the things that make you happy!!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by D Q View Post


                    Hi All

                    Not sure where to post this but here goes....

                    Just got back from a long day at my parents place....Mum has just been recently diagnosed with Dementia / Alzheimers and so... may be the last Father's day we have together as a family.

                    Feeling really sad seeing my Mum as a completely different entity today...normally a tiny little Christian Lady who's fun to be around...but today she's in the midst of a pyschotic episode. She's been yelling abuse at some 'imaginary' people who haved moved in next door and have taken over her home.

                    Not sure which is sadder...watching my Mum disentigrate before my eyes...or just watching my Father having to witness his bride of some 50 odd years dissappear before his...

                    Almost praying for a major crisis to 'intervene' and just take her as we remember her...

                    Anyone else had to go through this ??

                    And how did you manage to get through it ???

                    DQ
                    Currently have Juls' mum in a home over East ... has been a slow slide ... spent heaps sending her and my daughter over to help/be there for her Dad.. at end of the day hard as it may appear .. in that state they just don't know one moment form the next .. synapses in the brain cross .. reality goes out the window ... yesterday becomes next week ... they have their reality and it's not generally the same as others... we can only accept that where she is is where she is meant to be at this point in time... and hopefully it is a happy place.... until the inevitable happens we can only be passengers/observers and hold fast to the image that brings us the best memory/image of who they were to us... happy/vibrant/intelligent/caring human beings and that image is the one we keep focusing on...

                    All the best

                    Coxy

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      When its one who you have loved and respected, looked up to this is one of the most jarring experience to go thru.

                      Can't help, but can appreciate the anguish that you and your pop are going thru. If ya can just make sure you give your dad a break from it, get him out of the house and stay with your mum.

                      Best wishes. hope you get thru and hang in there.
                      You can't *burrrp* can't just post, just post anything you feel like morty, you just *burrp* just end up *burrp* end up hurting people's feelings morty I mean how, how would you like it if I said things that offended you morty?

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                      • #12
                        That sounds awful i'm so sorry to hear. I find it very hard to imagine being in your place at the moment. I do however know that there are places like the Alzheimers Association in Shenton Park who have groups for Alzheimers/Dementia sufferers and groups for their carers too, and i've seen them turn a couple who were depressed and on the verge of suicide into a functioning couple who still enjoy life over a year onward from diagnosis.
                        While it does sound a bit cliche etc I hope it's comforting for you and your family to know that there are people who you can contact and talk to.
                        However it pans out, good luck with it all.

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                        • #13
                          Thanks all for your kind words of support...been to Alzheimers Assc this week for counselling and had some very good professional advice from a member on here...just been a bit hard to follow up on it...being Father's Day and all...couldn't quite bring myself to have her admitted anywhere this weekend.

                          Took her some old CD's today and had a bit of a sing along...funny times in amongst the sad..just seems to make it all the more poignant tho...

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                          • #14
                            So sorry to hear D Q. Ive never had to go through this myself. Tho my Great grandmother was not al there in her later years. All you can is be there to support your dad but make sure you get support yourself or you wil drain yourself. There are hard roads ahead, but keep the good memories in your mind and it will help carry you through. Much love and support to you and your family.

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