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  • #46
    Tonight was brought to you by my raps, which are soup, and my beats, which therefore must be stock.

    The Twitter


    • #47
      Shitty music. Not particularly sexploitational either.

      But damn me if I don't want to do naughty things with Christina Hendricks.

      What is best in life? Troll the forums, see the threads derailed before you and hear the lamentations of the moderators.


      • #48

        You can forgive her much for this vid. Barbarella never looked so good...


        • #49
          ok, all good, but suprised no one put on 'LapDance' by N.E.R.D.
          would do it but not sure how.


          • #50
            From here: The smuttiest dance videos ever on

            It's Saturday morning, you've stumbled out of bed, head fuzzy after a big night out, and you park yourself down on the couch and flick on the TV for some light entertainment with one of the many morning music video programs on the schedule. Suddenly images of big boobs, fleshy butts, oily abs and writhing bodies hit the screen set to the crossover dance track of the minute. Yes, it's the seemingly time honoured tradition of sex and dance music clips. Whoever came up with that inspired pairing originally clearly bottled some lightning as skin-centric videos and dance tracks have become joined at the crotch with no let-up in sight.
            With that in mind, ITM thought it was about time to look back on the (silicone enhanced) legacy of dance musicï؟½s porn-y videos and offer a definitive list of the smuttiest dance videos of all time, from the ridiculous to the rotten. Press on for the dirty 30 countdown and have some hand sanitiser at the ready. That was probably a poor choice of phrasing.

            30. Kid Cudi Day n Nite (Crookers Remix)
            Our list begins innocently enough with Kid Cudi and Crookers Dan n Nite clip which finds Cudi working the night shift at some rinky dink convenience store. But wait! All his customers are babes! And they strip for him! Of course!
            http://‪Kid Cudi vs. Crookers...rlm; - YouTube

            29. Studio B I See Girls
            Here's the clip for I See Girls and you should probably get used to the formula which it employs. Itï؟½s pretty complex but try to decipher it anyway: Girls / Running / No bras / Slow motion.
            ‪Studio B - I See Girls‬‏ - YouTube

            28. DJ Deekline & Ed Solo Touch Your Toes
            You could probably give Deekline and Solo a pass on this as Touch Your Toes is indeed a sex jam but there really is a ludicruous amount of bare flesh on display here. Give the girls some coats at least!
            http://‪DJ DEEKLINE FEAT. DAR...rlm; - YouTube

            27. Simian Mobile Disco Hustler
            Simplicity reigns supreme in the clip for Hustler, that being a continuous all-girl pash-orgy
            http://‪Simian Mobile Disco -...rlm; - YouTube

            26. Geo Da Silva I'll Do You Like A Truck
            We're not sure whatï؟½s more disturbing about this video: that doing someone Like A Truck has its own dance move, that the lecherous Geo Da Silva has his own sex dungeon on wheels or that the video has been viewed close to 12 million times now
            http://‪GeoDaSilva - I'll Do ...rlm; - YouTube

            25. Bob Sinclar ft. Fireball What I Want
            Sinclar probably goes fishing with a bazooka heï؟½s that subtle and appropriately What I Want gets a very restrained video treatment. Our favourite part is where the girls are instructed on correct wet T-Shirt etiquette.
            http://‪Bob Sinclar presents ...rlm; - YouTube

            24. Michael Gray The Weekend
            Were Oliver Cheatham actually dead heï؟½d probably be turning in his grave. But with a boner, no less.
            http://‪Michael Gray - The We...rlm; - YouTube

            23. Every Basshunter Video
            Say what you will about Basshunter as an artist or as an oxygen sucking person but at least heï؟½s consistent. His music videos will routinely feature Aly Lie a Norwegian porn star in various states of undress. He even manages to pull that off in a video for his Christmas single!
            http://‪Basshunter - I Miss Y...rlm; - YouTube

            22. Fragma Tocas Miracle
            You can add slow motion and dark lighting to pretty much anything and call it art, but nobodyï؟½s buying an ï؟½artyï؟½ angle to this thinly veiled lingerie commercial.
            http://‪Fragma Tocas Miracle ...rlm; - YouTube

            21. Greg Cerrone Pilling Me (Klaas Remix)
            Wow, check out those foxy guitars!
            http://‪Pilling Me Klaas Remi...rlm; - YouTube

            20. Aphex Twin Windowlicker
            One of the few clips on this list with its tongue in its cheek, Chris Cunninghamï؟½s video for Windowlicker by Aphex Twin flips the switch on dance and hip-hop videos with a messed up and thoroughly disturbing parade of booty, boobs and sexual imagery.
            http://‪Aphex Twin - Windowli...rlm; - YouTube

            19. Shana Vanguarde Gimme Gimme Gimme

            This ABBA-lifting electro house tune actually has a pretty harmless ï؟½ compared to some others on this list ï؟½ clip for itï؟½s first two minutes. Thereï؟½s even a rare man-candy sighting! Then the raunch dial ratchets up for an extended bit of simulated sex with (you guessed it) slo-mo! Wonï؟½t somebody please think of the children?
            http://‪Shana Vanguarde - Gim...rlm; - YouTube

            18. Fedde Le Grand Put Your Hands Up For Detroit
            In the future there will be stripping, gyrating nurse-bots, it all makes sense.
            http://‪Fedde Le Grand - Put ...rlm; - YouTube

            17. Tensanke Coma Cat
            The video version of Tensnakeï؟½s joyous house hit Coma Cat rankled us pretty bad last year as its skeezy, hipster-porn tones really do a disservice to the original tune. Seriously, these girls look like theyï؟½re on the wrong side of 16 and watching them slurp soft serves and float les-vibes at one another is just uncomfortable.
            http://‪Tensnake Coma Cat vir...rlm; - YouTube

            16. Tim Deluxe ft. Sam Obernik ï؟½ It Just Wonï؟½t Do
            This was a bit of a monster back in the early ï؟½00s and it really set the pace for the big house tracks that followed with its bronzed bodies, flashes of bare arse and cheap setup to get girls jumping and bouncing for three and a half minutes.
            http://‪Tim Deluxe feat Sam O...rlm; - YouTube

            15. Divided ï؟½ Easy Lover
            By making the (waifer thin) narrative into a porn parody, the directors of this video give themselves a free pass to show all the tit rubbing, hip thrusting and tongue wrestling that they can shoot. Genius.

            14. Benny Benassi ï؟½ Whoï؟½s Your Daddy

            Two girls double teaming an ice cream cone is actually a decent summation of Benny Benassiï؟½s career when you think about it.
            http://‪Benny Benassi - Who's...rlm; - YouTube

            13. ATB ï؟½ Could You Believe

            ATB brings a little SBS-style smut to his clip for Could You Believe. Itï؟½s essentially the start of a porno except ATB doesnï؟½t drop his draws when unwittingly stumbles in on two girls rolling around in the sheets.
            http://‪ATB - Could You Belie...rlm; - YouTube

            12. Rudenko ï؟½ Everybody / Sasha Dith ï؟½ Russian Girls
            Both of these clips follow strikingly similar courses detailing what is likely historyï؟½s most ineffective torture technique. Unless of course the aim was to give the captured soldier a hole in his fatigues and a rough case of blue balls.
            http://‪Rudenko - Everybody&#...rlm; - YouTube

            11. Uniting Nations ï؟½ Out Of Touch
            Did we all miss a page on the last census that identified dance fans as Euro-house loving, hormonally challenged 14 year old boys without a decent internet connection? Because that seems to be how video directors view dance fans. If this is the bed we have to lie in, I for one donï؟½t remember making it.
            http://‪Uniting Nations Out O...rlm; - YouTube

            10. Josh Wink ï؟½ Higher State Of Consciousness

            The 2007 re-do of Josh Winkï؟½s seminal single naturally received a raunchy video make-over which takes the action to a Skins style house party where a bunch of party animals shower together and fuck shit up. In the uncut video thereï؟½s even some nip. Weï؟½d give you a NSFW warning but if youï؟½ve made it this far at your office then itï؟½s pretty clear you donï؟½t care anyway!
            Josh Wink on Vimeo

            9. MSTRKRFT ï؟½ Easy Love

            Itï؟½s pretty easy to see through the liquid covered smoke screen of MSTRKRFTï؟½s Easy Love video. We wonï؟½t look at strawberry milkshakes in the same way again.
            http://‪Easy Love‬&rlm...rlm; - YouTube

            8. Sunblock ï؟½ Iï؟½ll Be Ready
            Imagine Baywatch without any of the plot (ï؟½what plot?ï؟½ I hear you askï؟½) and then up the Pamela Anderson bouncy quota and you have the clip for Sunblockï؟½s equally silly commercial house hit Iï؟½ll Be Ready.

            7. David Guetta ft. Akon ï؟½ Sexy Bitch
            Knowing that censors would have a field day with his Sexy Bitch (or Sexy Chick as it were) video, David Guetta shot a bunch of different cuts for the clip, and bless that grinning Frenchman this is the worst offender. As well as gratuitous amounts of bum cheek and up-skirt shots we even get a montage of party-goers rubbing ice cubes on each otherï؟½s bodies. Such is the allure of Akon, no doubt.
            ‪David Guetta Feat. Akon - Sexy Bitch Video [ ! Explicit ! ] 2009 + Lyrics‬‏ - YouTube

            6. Alex Gaudino ft. Christal Waters ï؟½ Destination Calabria
            As obnoxious as the original tune might be, you canï؟½t fault the auteur video director for nailing the shots of the girls polishing and blowing on their saxophones. And just when you think heï؟½s gonna give you another one ï؟½ BOOM! ï؟½ he drops an extreme butt close up on you. Thatï؟½s film-making. Scorsese: 0 This Guy: Bazillion
            ‪Alex Gaudino Feat. Christal Waters - Destination Calabria‬‏ - YouTube

            5. Star Pilots ï؟½ In The Heat Of The Night
            After an overload of skin clips in the top 10 already, youï؟½d expect our #5 pick to also deliver a ham-fisted flesh-fest. In The Heat Of The Night takes up that challenge with aplomb, busting out some oily-dude volleyball scenes and skin-tight costumes and topping it all off with a bikini clad car wash at the end. Except that the cars are fighter jets. LOL dick metaphors!
            ‪Star Pilots - In The Heat Of The Night (HD Official UK Version) (Out NOW)‬‏ - YouTube

            4. Benny Benassi ï؟½ Satisfaction
            Benny Benassi makes his return to the list! And with what else but his infamous Satisfaction clip. The power tool instructions that run through the clip are a quirky touch, but really, whoï؟½s reading them anyway?
            ‪Benny Benassi - Satisfaction‬‏ - YouTube

            3. Eric Prydz ï؟½ Call On Me
            The source of countless sprained wrists, Call On Me ranks high on any smut-list for its no prisoners approach to putting thrusting, lunging, bare and sweaty body parts on the screen in as extreme close-up as possible.
            ‪Eric Prydz - Call On Me‬‏ - YouTube

            2. Klaxons ï؟½ Twin Flames
            Like the conjoined-twin orgy fantasy you never ever had, Klaxonsï؟½ Twin Flames clip is a disturbing whirl of tangled limbs and fluid exchanges and will certainly haunt your dreams.
            Klaxons 'Twin Flames' on Vimeo

            1. Lifelike & Kris Menace ï؟½ Discopolis
            While much of this ï؟½dirty 30ï؟½ list of the smuttiest/porniest/sexploitative has been filled with videos following a well worn formula, the video for Discopolis keenly defies that structure. Give it a golf clap. Instead of crowbar-ing in a dodgy narrative setting like an aerobics class or a game of strip poker to allow for copious amounts of skin onscreen, Discopolis plants a camera firmly on a not-at-all covered arse and stays there. Unless you count the showering scene. Oh and thereï؟½s loads of slow motion ï؟½ an obvious artistic necessity. As we reach the top (or bottom depending on how you look at things) of our list, this is a very deserving #1.
            ‪Lifelike & Kris Menace - Discopolis (Defected)‬‏ - YouTube

            Last edited by Goofy; 21-07-2011, 02:31 PM.


            • #51


              • #52
                How do you embed videos? I seem to have fluked 1


                • #53
                  Just came across this on youtube.
                  When due process fails us, we really do live in a world of terror. — JC Denton


                  • #54
                    Originally posted by abuse this View Post
                    just came across this
                    That's a little too much information...


                    • #55
                      2:20 seems to show a fair bit of nip
                      When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be AWESOME instead. True story.

                      Originally posted by lobes89
                      Yea I like the bike but it's hard to get my foot under the brake lever


                      • #56
                        Originally posted by Guardian View Post
                        ok, all good, but suprised no one put on 'LapDance' by N.E.R.D.
                        would do it but not sure how.
                        Originally posted by Abuse this
                        Get a load of this pussy, he wouldn't travel back in time to murder a baby.


                        • #57
                          Originally posted by Princess Deb View Post
                          That's a little too much information...
                          Herp derp, I just re-read the OP and saw that you had posted it.
                          When due process fails us, we really do live in a world of terror. — JC Denton


                          • #58
                            "too much information" wasn't a response to the repost, rather your interesting choice of words to accompany it.


                            • #59
                              Originally posted by Princess Deb View Post
                              "too much information" wasn't a response to the repost, rather your interesting choice of words to accompany it.
                              Oh yes, I got the joke but your thread bump inspired me to go through the whole thread again which is when I noticed the repost.
                              When due process fails us, we really do live in a world of terror. — JC Denton


                              • #60