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DWTK - animal reproduction docos?

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  • DWTK - animal reproduction docos?

    So Zach, our 5 year old, has been asking many questions about reproduction such as "how do babies get in your belly", "how do babies grow", how did I get in your tummy, Mum" and a few other hilarious and awkward questions.
    The thing is, I don't want to lie to him, regardless of his age.
    Now obviously I want to keep it clean so no "Jim does Sally" style videos but I'm looking for Attenborough-esque documentaries that outline reproduction, foetuses growing and all the other awesome shit that is the miracle of childbirth as he really does love the nat-geo style programmes.
    Other than the usual hilarity and stupid comments I am expecting in this thread, does anyone have any suggestions?

  • #2
    Not sure if it will help but I used to have frogs and tadpoles as a young boy great fun and a quick life cycle .

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    • #3
      Take him out and get him laid?

      I got handed the book "where did I come from?" At around that age but it depends on his reading comprehension etc I think there is a video version....

      You could use [MENTION=17857]Skut[/MENTION]'s approach and get a female ferret that has to go to a ferret brothel to end its cycle. But then he may think that babies are made by biting the back of the neck whilst wrestling violently and making screeching noises...

      Not telling you how to raise your kid but you're on the right track IMO not wanting to lie to or mislead him but the differences in anatomy and execution amongst the animal kingdom may add confusion.
      Do you remember the good old days before the internet?

      when arguments were only entered into by the physically or intellectually able.

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      • #4
        pornbay has some pretty comprehensive video archives involving shagging with animals. Apparently.

        Not sure how it will help, but you asked.
        "Once upon a time we would obey in public, but in private we would be cynical; today, we announce cynicism, but in private we obey."

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Captain Starfish View Post
          Apparently.
          You aren't fooling anyone...

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          • #6
            Ha, and here come the neigh sayers
            "Once upon a time we would obey in public, but in private we would be cynical; today, we announce cynicism, but in private we obey."

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            • #7
              Originally posted by filbert View Post
              you're on the right track IMO not wanting to lie to or mislead him but the differences in anatomy and execution amongst the animal kingdom may add confusion.
              The whole idea with the animals is that he already loves Attenborough documentaries and the broad range of mating, birthing and rearing practices may take the heat of Sal and I, for want of a better term.

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              • #8


                There you go! All he needs to know right there.

                edit: for serious advice - The Human Body | Watch Free Documentary Online - you know the one with Robert Winston; great series
                Last edited by Skut; 09-01-2014, 09:31 PM.

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                • #9
                  I don't think it's awkward at all if you just stick to the facts and not use stupid names for pens and vaginas.
                  -

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by agrid View Post
                    I don't think it's awkward at all if you just stick to the facts and not use stupid names for pens and vaginas.
                    QFT - years of confusion until I learned what a biro really was.
                    "Once upon a time we would obey in public, but in private we would be cynical; today, we announce cynicism, but in private we obey."

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                    • #11
                      There's an animated vid/book u can get specifically for kids. Called where do I come from
                      Last edited by Duked; 10-01-2014, 07:33 AM.

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                      • #12
                        Here you go

                        My mum always used to say, when life hands you lemons "kill mob within spell duration with a soul gem of adequate quality for the mob's level to trap its soul"

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Captain Starfish View Post
                          Ha, and here come the neigh sayers
                          That's enough horse play!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Skut View Post


                            There you go! All he needs to know right there.

                            edit: for serious advice - The Human Body | Watch Free Documentary Online - you know the one with Robert Winston; great series

                            +1 for the Winston series, its probably the better of the serious doco's that represents it in a very good way!

                            As for the life questions coming your way at 5yrs, hehe thats a nice early age for you to have to deal with this , once he knows the baby making process will you be talking to him about playing with his twinky and not going blind by 10! (waits for the ped comments)

                            Ohh, and [MENTION=17857]Skut[/MENTION], thanks for reminding me with that song and clip how I used to try and procreate with the opposite sex in that seedy night club that used to exist at the Balmoral many moons ago...no babies I am aware to speak of from it as far as I know...
                            Last edited by Spina; 10-01-2014, 09:18 AM. Reason: brain fade

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                            • #15
                              Wish my dad had been around to teach me.
                              Unfortunately he died two years before I was born.

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