DWTK stoopid questions

[Dubs]

So I am at work and a lady rings me and says "If i have an hourly rate for someone, how do i work out their weekly rate?"

I advised her to multiply by the hours worked for that week

It got me thinking that from customers and colleaugues alike we must all get some dumb questions asked of us....

Sooo.....

DWTK - What are some of the stoopid questions you have had asked of you/ AND if there are any YOU have asked of others?

Usual DWTK rules apply

I dont want to hear any

"Oh I once read on this cool site...."

or

"Yeh in this email I got once...."

Dubs

[taint]

Worked at the Education Dept for a while, you hear some farkin pearlers from teachers.

Like something from "The IT Crowd"

Teacher: My computer isn't working
Me: is it switched on?
Teacher: The light isn't coming on
Me: Can I get you to check it's plugged into the wall securely
Teacher: beep..beep..beep

Many, many calls like that

Teacher: My program isn't working
Me: Did you read the e-mail about the system upgrade
T: Of course I did
M: Have you re-booted your computer
T: Why would I do that
M: Because if you read the e-mail it stated you had to do that for the changes to take effect

and these people are meant to be teaching the next generation, no wonder they are a bunch of spoiled, drug addled idiots

[Ferris]

Bosses daughter, back in '96. We were driving into Kal, to pick up some bits.

Her: "So where are we going again?"
Me: "Coventry's"
Her: "Why?"
Me: "to pick up a box of seals."
There was a pregnant pause, while she digested this information. I felt I needed to explain.
Me: "You know, seals, for the drill rigs."
Her: "Ha ha, oh, for a moment there, I thought you meant like "flipper" "

o.0

Yeah, I'm for serious reals. This is also a woman whos son she named "Stealth". Hot woman, but seriously short of the goods upstairs.

[Desmo]

Hot woman, but seriously short of the goods upstairs.

Result.

[Flyboy]

When I worked for a helicopter company I always got queried on how long the flights went for.

Customer: "So how long does the 5 min flight go for?"
Me: "Errr.....5 minutes...."

[Sunshine & F'n Rainbows]

"How long is five meters?"

Um.. well...

[Stoneville]

posted a long time ago in a thread far far away

Target - Midland places purchases on counter, then places helmet close to body, while digging out money from pocket, silly dumb pimple faced young man, points to helmet and asks "is that one of ours" WTF

[thro]

The number one stupid question:

Walk into fast food joint, helmet in hand, wearing jacket, and general biker gear, and no back pack.


"Is that dine in, or take away?"


err..


What do you think?

[shmoo]

Working at petrol station. Woman walks into shop;

Woman: "would anything happen if i put diesel in my car? It usually takes petrol."
Me: "its generally not good, it is a completely different fuel and you car is not made to run on it."
Woman: "yeah, ok, but will it matter?"
Me: "yes"
Woman: "well what do you want me to do about it?"
Me: "I'm sorry, i really cant help you with that, but your welcome to use our phone to call mechanic/husband/RAC"
Woman: "I cant believe this. You peeple are going to pay for this"
Me: "heh? what you talk'n bout willis?"
Woman: "they should be separate pumps and clearly labelled"
Me: "ahh they are....*points out to pumps*....you've pulled up at a pump that only has diesel and it has a big green sticker saying WARNING DIESEL"
Woman: "you havent heard the end of this"
*woman then gets in her car and drives off*

[taint]

The number one stupid question:

Walk into fast food joint, helmet in hand, wearing jacket, and general biker gear, and no back pack.


"Is that dine in, or take away?"


err..


What do you think?

[devils advocate]
You might be going to sit on the lawn outside Or in south perth walk down to the river[/devils advocate]

[Stoneville]

The number one stupid question:
Walk into fast food joint, helmet in hand, wearing jacket, and general biker gear, and no back pack.
"Is that dine in, or take away?"
err..
What do you think?

This happens all the time, take 25 - 50 riders into HJ's and we all get our food in a doggy bag not on a tray, but I think they might be trying to tell us something :p

[kyliejane]

"do tattoos hurt?"

ummmmmmmmmmmmmm whatcha think?

[taint]

This happens all the time, take 25 - 50 riders into HJ's and we all get our food in a doggy bag not on a tray, but I think they might be trying to tell us something :p

They save the trays for putting under the wheels on their FWD cars so that they can drift :p

I have never attempted nor condone the fore mentioned behaviour

[Sunshine & F'n Rainbows]

*woman then gets in her car and drives off*

Not for long

Man, I wish stupidity was painful.

"do tattoos hurt?"

ummmmmmmmmmmmmm whatcha think?

My tattooist asked me that, while I was getting inked.

I was getting my left palm done (yes, palm, etc..) and was having a fairly... interesting time of it. One of the guys comes over and asks "So, does it hurt?"

"Nah Stew, it feels like I'm being tickled by a pair of bikini clad lesbians. When Johnno is finished doing me, I'll do yours if you like?"

I mean, you think he'd have some idea...

[Jonchilds]

I get a heap from one of the guys who works in the lab upstairs.
They're more stupid questions which if unanswered lead to dangerous situations.

"Can you show me how to use the AAS machine?" - Every has been told he is not to use the machines for fear of damaging $20,000 of equipment (attached to an old 486).