The First Date
A young guy out on the town with his mates spies the girl of his dreams
across the dance floor. Having admired her from a far he finally gets up
the
courage to talk to her. Everything goes better than expected and she
agrees
to accompany him on a date the following Saturday evening... Saturday
night
the man arrives at her house with flowers and candy. To his surprise,
she
answers the door in nothing but a towel.

"I'm sorry," she exclaims, "I am running a bit late. Please come in and
I'll
introduce you to my parents who will entertain you while I finish
getting
dressed. I should warn you, though, they are both deaf mutes."...

With this, she ushers him into the living room, introduces him to her
parents and promptly disappears. As you can imagine, this is a little
uncomfortable as both of the parents are completely silent. Dad is
sitting
in his arm chair watching golf on TV, and Mum is busy knitting...

After about ten minutes of complete silence, Mum jumps from her chair,
pulls
up her skirt, pulls down her knickers, and pours a glass of water over
her
backside. Just as suddenly, Dad launches himself across the room, bends
her
over the couch, and takes her from behind. He then sits back down in his
chair and balances a match stick in front of his eye. The room is
plunged
back into eerie silence and the young man is shocked into
disbelief.......

After a further ten minutes, the daughter returns fully dressed and
ready
for the evening. The date is a complete disaster with the young man
completely distracted by the goings on earlier in the living room...

At the end of the night, the girl asks, "What's the matter? Have I done
something wrong?"

"No, its not you," he replied, "It's just that the strangest thing
happened
while I was waiting for you and I am still a bit shocked. Well, first
your
Mother jumps from her chair, lifts up her skirt, pulls down her panties,
and
throws a glass of water over her behind. Then, as if that weren't
enough,
your Father races from his chair, leans her over he couch and does her
from
behind. He then sits back down and places a match stick by his eye."...

"Oh, is that all?" replies the girl.

The man can't believe her casual response.

"Mom was simply saying, 'Are you going to get this asshole a drink?'
and
Dad was replying, 'No, fuck him - I'm watching the match'..."