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Only in Australia... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
Only in Australia... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Australia... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries, and a DIET coke.
Only in Australia... do banks leave the door open and chain the pens
to the counters.
Only in Australia... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on
the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Australia... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in
packs of eight.
Only in Australia... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Australia... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
And finally, .........................
For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting medical studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than
the British or Americans or Australians.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
the British or Americans or Australians.
3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans or Australians.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than the British or Americans or Australians.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans or
Australians.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English,
apparently, is what kills you.
ambulance.
Only in Australia... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Australia... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries, and a DIET coke.
Only in Australia... do banks leave the door open and chain the pens
to the counters.
Only in Australia... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on
the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Australia... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in
packs of eight.
Only in Australia... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Australia... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
And finally, .........................
For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting medical studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than
the British or Americans or Australians.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
the British or Americans or Australians.
3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans or Australians.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than the British or Americans or Australians.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans or
Australians.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English,
apparently, is what kills you.
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