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The Car You Drive

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  • The Car You Drive

    wonder if there's a bike one of these floating around

    Passionate and romantic, you fancy yourself. A bit unreliable, and can be
    eccentric too. You hate BMW drivers, but think and act just like them.

    You would like to believe you are part of the new generation that is caring,
    environmentally conscious and family-orientated. Actually quite boring; nothing
    more than a glorified wuss. Will one day probably drive a Merc, but you still
    sometimes wonder if you shouldn't have bought that Bee-Em.

    Self-centred, ambitious, dynamic and assertive. Can be a big show-off pig.
    Likes impressing too. Buppies and kugels past sell-by date. You think you will
    be CEO one day. Actually an office weenie who thinks you are God's gift.

    Faceless, subservient and demure (except for Matiz drivers). To you, a good
    deal is to work from nine to five, get nothing for it, and still say thank you.
    And then you wonder why you don't have money for a time after hours.

    Cute self-confident girls climbing the corporate ladder with ball-breaking as
    their hidden agenda. Will take everything you own if she divorces you.

    You still live in the 70's, trying to cope with the 90's (don't even mention the
    millennium). A loyal, diligent worker, but baffled by office politics and labour
    policies. Next car will probably also be a Ford.

    You are the ultimate on-road wanker. You think your 80s model Commodore is a V8
    supercar, OR you think by owning a Barina you're a true Holden fan. You're
    either a redneck or a way-too-standard family parent * but either way, you most
    likely drive like you're the only person on the road. You're even ignorant
    enough to argue that the new Commodore is better than the new Ford.

    You aspire to drive a BMW. You are an opinionated pain-in-the-butt. The
    ultimate suffragette, or the boss's girlfriend (male or female!).

    You like the smell of diesel and have secret fantasy of being a truck driver.

    Hyundai /Kia
    Quite progressive, intelligent and practical. But misguided. The kind of
    person who will suggest a sub-committee to find solutions to what the committee
    couldn't. You will always maintain that a Korean car is better than any
    Japanese model.

    You would like to believe you are living the American dream and just love the
    great outdoors. The closest you get to it is by watching Days of Our Lives and
    the Adventure Channel.

    Land Rover
    You are a designer person with a designer life, who always pays too much for
    everything. Designer mud comes free with the badge. You're a closet colonial
    racist and have fantasies about the Queen. If you have a Freelander, it was
    probably a break-up gift from your ex.

    A Ford driver with less money. Mostly staid boring with no image and less
    imagination. Lots of retired people drive Mazdas. You're in the way and should
    get off the road.

    Responsible, immaculate and conservative. Boring CEO clones with too much
    money, or the office super-geek who can't remember what it's like to have fun.
    Definitely not dating material.

    Good, solid, responsible, loyal office-fodder. You like to travel and maintain
    that you can sell ice to the Eskimos. Favourite answer: "It's a company car."

    Not as label-conscious as your Land Rover counterpart, but still suckered into
    believing in the ultimate Paris-to-Dakar, African adventure. You drive through
    puddles to create your own designer mud. You believe you've made the grade, but
    everyone else knows you've got a long way to go.

    Thinks France is the best country in the world and bores everybody with your
    limited French knowledge and tales of the Louvre and the Sourbonne.

    Small dick or mid-life crisis.

    An eccentric who likes doing things the wrong way around. Usually the one who
    asks all the silly questions at staff meetings. You fervently believe you have
    flair, but it's less than that of a French cookbook. Most probably gay.

    A make-believe fool, because you'd like a Pajero but can't afford it. Don't
    actually know that the engines are made in India and not in Germany.

    Although there are thousands of them, you mostly can't spot them in their
    zero-image cars. Toyotas are good, reliable cars and are bought by a wide
    variety of people who have zero personality to go with their cars and are
    basically chicken-shit scared people who will never take chances and will
    therefore be driving Toyotas forever.
    The most zero-image car in the world?, ... a white Corolla

    Highly overrated for dependability cars since the days of the Beetle, but they
    do have a good re-sale value. Usually practical, sensible people who like to
    drive fast where nobody can see them. They are usually loyal to their brand to
    the point of irritation due to the fact that they lost their virginity on a
    Beetle's back seat.

    As square and safe as the car

    Good looking, wise, probobly have large penis, likey to ride a fast motorbike and bust up big arse monos. Edited by Deej, shhhhhh
    I speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

  • #2
    Aim high and consider yourself worthy of great things


    • #3
      wonder if there's a bike one of these floating around
      Kawasaki - You realise cars are shit

      Honda - You realise cars are shit

      Yamaha - You realise cars are shit

      Suzuki - You realise cars are shit

      Aprilia - You realise cars are shit

      MV Augusta - You realise cars are shit

      Harley Davidson - You realise cars are shit, yet bought a shit bike.

      Any other 'real bike' manufacturer - You realise cars are shit


      • #4
        Re: The Car You Drive

        Good looking, wise, probobly have large penis, likey to ride a fast motorbike and bust up big arse monos. Edited by Deej, shhhhhh
        :roll: some people abuse their admin rights



        • #5

          So on the eight day, after wasting time faffing about with unimportant guff like heaven & earth & the waters & sky & creatures [& having a wee kip] & man.... God created PSB (GenesiSX-R1000)


          • #6
            Aim high and consider yourself worthy of great things


            • #7
              Hahahahaha Love it.....
              Dale Britton MotorCycles: 5/115
              Albany Hwy, Vic Park, Ph: 9470-1234 ...

              Kim Britton Kawasaki: 91 Dixon Rd, Rockingham, Ph: 9592-1113 ...