THE RURAL AUSTRALIAN DICTIONARY OF COMPUTER TERMINOLOGY

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THE RURAL AUSTRALIAN DICTIONARY OF COMPUTER TERMINOLOGY
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> * Log On - Make the barbecue hotter
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> * Log Off - The barbecue is too hot
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> * Monitor - Keeping an eye on the barbecue
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> * Download - Get the firewood off the ute
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> * Hard drive - Trip back home without any cold tinnies
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> * Floppy Disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once
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> * Keyboard - Where you hang the ute and bike keys
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> * Window - What you shut when it's cold
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> * Screen - What you shut in the mosquito season
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> * Byte - What mosquitoes do
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> * Bit - What mosquitoes did
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> * Mega Byte - What Townsville mosquitoes do
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> * Chip - A bar snack
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> * Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
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> * Modem - What you did to the lawns
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> * Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
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> * Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
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> * Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at McDonald's
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> * Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart
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> * Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
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> * Mainframe - What holds the shed up
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> * Web - What spiders make
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> * Web Site - The shed or under the verandah
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> * Cursor - The old bloke who swears a lot
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> * Search Engine - What you do when the ute won't go
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> * Yahoo - What you say when the ute does go
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> * Upgrade - A steep hill
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> * Server - The sheila at the pub who brings out the counter lunch
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> * Mail Server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter
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> * User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things
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> * Network - When you have to repair your fishing net
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> * Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
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> * Netscape - When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
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> * Online - When you get the laundry hung out
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> * Off Line - When the pegs don't hold the washing up
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