No announcement yet.

Phrases for the workplace

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Phrases for the workplace

    It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
    throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

    Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated.

    We do however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately
    express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

    Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

    TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
    INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

    TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
    INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.

    TRY SAYING: Really?
    INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!

    TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
    INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a fuck.

    TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
    INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.

    TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
    INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

    TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
    INSTEAD OF: This fucking shit won't work.

    TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
    INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?

    TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
    INSTEAD OF: He's got his fucking head up his ass.

    TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
    INSTEAD OF: Listen fuckface.

    TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
    INSTEAD OF: Kiss my fuck'n ass.

    TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
    INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on a salary.

    TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
    INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

    TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
    INSTEAD OF: More fucking shit to do.

    TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
    INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?

    TRY SAYING: I see.
    INSTEAD OF: Blow me.

    TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
    INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

    Thank You,

    Human Resources
    Aim high and consider yourself worthy of great things

  • #2
    how true, how true
    why is stopping so important??


    • #3
      Thats GOLD. Great post
      Increasing my carbon footprint - one 500 @ a time...


      • #4
        That one's gonna circulate TAFE. =)
        mmmmm sacrilicious