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Honey I don't feel like it...

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  • Honey I don't feel like it...

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words “I do”

    FOR EXAMPLE:

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    "WHAT??!!!"
    I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell.




  • #2
    HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! That's one great read.........
    ...having dinner with KARMA tonight...

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    • #3
      Now that's just dam right NASTY on the man's behalf and there's no truth in that at all, not all us women are like that :roll: But I did giggle

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      • #4
        how true, how very true.....

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        • #5
          BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

          thats some funny shit dude!!

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          • #6

            So on the eight day, after wasting time faffing about with unimportant guff like heaven & earth & the waters & sky & creatures [& having a wee kip] & man.... God created PSB (GenesiSX-R1000)

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            • #7
              ahaha-heheheheh-hahahah

              8)

              Nice

              (\__/)
              (='.'=)
              (")_(")

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              • #8
                difference

                Might just have to try that one.... 8) 8)
                this one is similar...


                ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
                Smart man + smart woman = romance
                Smart man + dumb woman = affair
                Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
                Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

                OFFICE ARITHMETIC
                Smart boss + smart employee = profit
                Smart boss + dumb employee = production
                Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
                Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

                SHOPPING MATH
                A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

                GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
                A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

                HAPPINESS
                To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

                LONGEVITY
                Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

                PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
                A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

                DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
                A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

                HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
                Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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                • #9
                  Re: difference

                  sigpic

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                  • #10
                    HAHAHA funny shit nig's

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                    • #11
                      Re: Honey I don't feel like it...

                      Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
                      just keep this up and eventually she'll piss off...

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                      • #12
                        it is amazing how the legs open at the same rate the wallet opens
                        A site all parents should check regulary
                        http://www.mako.org.au/temp_a.html

                        (+)

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                        • #13
                          it is amazing how the legs open at the same rate the wallet opens
                          And most of the time it wasen't worth opening the legs :roll:

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                          • #14
                            it is amazing how the legs open at the same rate the wallet opens
                            And most of the time it wasen't worth opening the legs :roll:
                            Hahahaha!
                            sigpic

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