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  • Moving to Darwin

    Nov 30th

    Just moved to Darwin. Now this is a place that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

    Dec 14th

    Really heating up. Got to 36 today. Not a problem. Live in an air- conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

    Dec 30th

    Had the backyard landscaped with easy care plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

    Jan 10th

    The temperature hasn't been below 36 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? Too bad it's not a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

    Jan 15th

    Fell asleep by the pool. Got third-degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
    though: got to respect the old sun in a climate like this.

    Jan 20th

    I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kit E Kat and shit. No more pets in this heat!

    Jan 25th

    Dry heat, my arse. Hot is hot! The home air conditioner is on the blink, and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

    Jan 30th

    Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Fifteen hundred dollars in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

    Feb 4th

    Forty degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 30. Stupid repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this F*@#king state.

    Feb 8th

    If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his F*@#king throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted F***NG Garfield!

    Feb 10th

    The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to f*ck for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren desert? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the #@*&$!% pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat. What the F*ck!?

    Feb 14th

    Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 44 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the #@*&$!% windscreen out of the Statesman. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

    Feb 28th

    Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The #@*&$!% monsoon rains finally came and all they did is make it muggier than hell. The Statesman is now floating somewhere in the Timor Sea with its new $500 windscreen. That does it, we're moving back to Victoria for some peace and quiet.
    Right now Im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

  • #2


    I've seen a similar one where snow is involved...
    Aim high and consider yourself worthy of great things

    Comment


    • #3
      So true.

      Funny you should mention that but I head back up there for 10days tomorrow. June/July is the only humane time to go up there.

      Hmm, lets look at the forcast for the next few days shall we.

      Thu, Jun 17
      Sunny

      min: 17°C max: 29°C

      Fri, Jun 18
      Sunny

      min: 17°C max: 30°C

      Sat, Jun 19
      Sunny

      min: 18°C max: 30°C

      Sun, Jun 20
      Sunny

      min: 18°C max: 30°C


      Hehehehehehehehhe :twisted:

      Only problem, I get back on the 28th! (Will miss the races) GRRRRRRRRRR.

      Ah well, can't knock a free ticket.
      Now, let's look at that weather chart again.
      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        Wait!

        Did I forget to mention the PERV factor!

        Mmmmmmmmmm.......sexy backpackers in bikini's.
        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          *re-reads joke*

          Ummm... I thought Febuary only had 28 (or 29) days... :?
          Aim high and consider yourself worthy of great things

          Comment


          • #6
            changed due to Flakey's request
            Right now Im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

            Comment


            • #7
              and fuck when i was living there you could die of hyperthremia if you were stuck out side on one of those 18deg nites

              Comment


              • #8
                thought u were leqving us then chookie!
                Love
                Nick :twisted:

                Comment

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