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  • Kids

    For those with No children - this is totally hysterical! For those
    who already have children past this age - this is hilarious. For
    those who have children at this age - this is not funny. For those
    who have children nearing this age - this is a warning. For those
    who have not yet had children - this is a form of birth

    The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
    "Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):"

    1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom
    house about 4 inches deep.

    2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it
    with roller skates / blades, they can ignite.

    3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded

    4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
    enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and
    Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a
    to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.

    5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on,
    ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
    get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.

    6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit
    by a
    ceiling fan.

    7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's
    already too late.

    8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.

    9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though
    a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

    10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of
    a 4-year old.

    11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same

    12. Super glue is forever.

    13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still
    can't walk on water.

    14. Pool filters do not like Jelly.

    15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials
    they do.

    16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

    17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and
    very expensive to remove.

    18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.

    19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do
    like ovens.

    20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20

    21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms

    22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

    23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

    24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amassing thing.

    True story: One day the infant school teacher was reading the
    story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the
    story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building
    materials for
    his home. She read," ..And so the pig went up to the man with the
    wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some
    of that
    straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And
    what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and
    "I think he said...'Holy xxxxx! A talking pig!'" The teacher was
    unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

    25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake

  • #2
    hmmm bleach and brake fluid........

    /me gets a bucket

    I'm the noob you all pwn!


    • #3
      just do it outside the house Cal .
      Some say he eats sidchrome for breakfast

      Some say he only showers on even days of the week

      Some say he put an R1 motor in a coffee machine

      All we know is he's Hewie.


      • #4
        hmmm bleach and brake fluid........

        /me gets a bucket
        And a dog leash to attach it to the fan. :twisted:


        • #5
          i would like to add that u can actually add enough gelitine to a fish pond to make it a solid lump .... but the fish dont like it and ur mum gets really really really annoyed with u ..

          and condies crystals and a few alkaselta (spellin) do interesting things to neighbours pools ..

          u just have to explain that its just like havin a giant purple fizzy bath
          Some say he eats sidchrome for breakfast

          Some say he only showers on even days of the week

          Some say he put an R1 motor in a coffee machine

          All we know is he's Hewie.


          • #6
            Aim high and consider yourself worthy of great things


            • #7
              Brake fluid and chlorine is good fun to!
              from what i have been told, of cause


              • #8
                oh fuck yeh that was farney

                Dubs and [L]