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MP's (For Defence force members or Ex-members)

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  • MP's (For Defence force members or Ex-members)

    New ABC Drama Series:

    Following the popularity of the BBC series Red Cap, which shows the hard
    working, intelligent, brave, heroic, compassionate Military Police of the
    British Army, the ABC is pleased to announce Meat Head, a new drama series
    about Australian Army Military Police.

    Episode 1: It's a Long Way to the Top*
    In the opening episode we follow Private Jim Loser who thinks a transfer to
    the MPs is an easy two stripes. See him become bitter and twisted when he
    realises that all he's achieved is to go from the bottom of one pile to the
    bottom of another.

    Episode 2: Serving the Nation
    This episode covers the vital work of the Military Police. Using the latest
    high tech radar (that the civilian coppers stopped using because it was so
    unreliable) and on the lookout for speed demons who recklessly tear up the
    base at 41km/h.

    Episode 3: Lost without you.
    In this episode the Meat Heads have the vital task of directing exercise
    convoys. They put out a 6-inch by 6-inch sign with a black arrow on dark
    green, a foot off the ground and wonder why drivers in a forest at midnight
    on blackouts can't see it.

    Episode 4: Friends
    (It appears that as Australian Army Military Police don't actually have
    any, this script is still under development.)

    Episode 5: The Persuaders (a true story).
    When a SLR goes missing from the unit armory, the crack Meat Head SIB team
    soon suspect the soldier who had the rifle on the previous exercise. After
    a few days downtown he "willingly" signs a confession saying he stole the
    rifle and sold it to "criminals". Case closed. The rifle is found a year
    later, stock and butt dissolved, in the bottom of the armory's chemical
    cleaning tank, where it had been all the time.

    Episode 6: Bob Marley
    It's a 4am drug bust at the OR's barracks. A further mystery emerges in the
    females' lines where two female soldiers share a room but only one bed
    needs making. Dickheads in unfashionable cheap suits expect half-awake
    diggers to address them by rank when they aren't wearing any. Even though
    don't find drugs (especially on the guy wearing nothing but a towel with
    his bag of hooch clenched between his butt cheeks), no detail escapes the
    trained Military Policeman's trained eye.
    "Is that your TV?"
    "Yes it is."
    "Do you have a receipt for it?"
    "Then how do I know it's not stolen?"
    "You don't. Am I going to be charged with stealing my own TV?"
    "Next time make sure you have a receipt. Get this place cleaned up."

    Meat Head. Coming soon on AJTV

    Second season episodes.

    Episode 7: Urban Stealth vehicle. (True story)
    A RAEME digger is harassed for not wearing a hat whilst picking up the
    morning tea for the workshop. The smoko is cold and late when delivered and
    the workshop takes revenge by grounding all of the MPs vehicles during
    routine inspection. The MPs borrow a vehicle from the training pool but the
    only vehicle available is an Inter Mk 5. The MPs have to perform all their
    patrols of the married quarter areas in the Mk5. Problems ensue when the
    MPs cannot catch a thief on a stolen pushbike.

    Episode 8: Where's my machinegun. (True story)
    A Landrover stops at an unmanned checkpoint and finds a machinegun. The
    machinegun is kidnapped and held for ransom of 10 cartons of beer. The
    combined intelligence and detecting powers of the MPs is put too the test
    but fails to find the culprit.

    Episode 9: The mystery of the flat Bluebird. (True story)
    Pissed gunnies dive from the second floor of their lines onto the roof of
    the MPs car while the MPs sleep in their office. MPs can't understand why
    the roofs of all their cars are dented.

    Episode 10: I really wanted to be a real cop but they wouldn't take me.
    Semi-documentary: Profiles MP careers.

    Episode 11: Meccano sets. (True story)
    The MPs are tasked with displaying new weapons to the troops (Minimi, Mag58
    and Steyr). At one display all the weapons are disassembled leaving the MPs
    to put them back together again. Several hours later, MPs turn up at the
    workshop with a box of parts for the armourers to reassemble.

    Episode 12: English you good read. (True story)
    SIB turns up to a Supply Battalion to investigate the disappearance of a
    Zodiac assault boat. They read the NSN incorrectly and spend a day
    investigating the disappearance of a gravy boat. The Zodiac meanwhile turns
    up in the unit swimming pool where it is being used for diver training.

  • #2
    Awesome! What a crack-up! I've got a mate who's an army mp and I'm allways hanging shit on him. I'll forward this to him asap, unlike most mp's, he can take a joke.


    • #3
      That was quite funny!


      • #4
        Re:MP's (For Defence force members or Ex-members)


        Sent using Tapatalk Nokia Beta version.
        Can you help with foster care?


        • #5
          a girlfriend is a MP in the reserves just forwarded this on to her


          • #6
            Mate of mines transferring from Arty to MP's, I'll make sure he gets this


            • #7
              Excellent post! Will send it to my Dad (ex RAEME WOFF). He'll get a kick out of it too.

              We used to call them "Elephant Trackers" in the RAAF.
              aka Matt
              RB 2 11


              • #8
                Embittered much? Yep me too! haha

                Man MP's suck across all services. Yes, I'll say it. That rate is a waste of oxygen and pay.


                • #9
                  Remember at Tindalduring an exercise the Elephant trackers went to tell someone off for being too noisy ,only problem was they went to the wrong room ,other was pretty distinguishable considering all the cans outside
                  When working on Hercs at Richmond the doggies use to come out and want to see your id so you would show it to the Dog as he was the intelligent one lol


                  • #10
                    hahahaha love the no script for friends episode. Its funny because its true.
                    A mate of mine wanted to join as a MP, the recuiter asked if he liked not having friends
                    Motivation alone is not enough. If you have an idiot and you motivate him, now you have a motivated idiot.


                    • #11
                      I bloody hate MPs, whose side are you on mate!


                      • #12
                        what's really sad is i've seen some of those episodes and thought they were great.

                        as a young goober i drew the short straw and had to go away with these POC's as their spanner support. there are some strange people there


                        • #13
                          I had a mate that received a warning to slow down on his treadlie while riding on base... they are cocks