Don't read any further if you think you might be offended.
> Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
> A: Not being retarded
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
> A: Hypothermia
>
************************************************** ******************
> Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the
> battered wives' shelter?
> A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
> A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
> A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
> A: They don't fucking listen.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
> A: Gonorrhoea
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
> A. She rolls her own tampons.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
> A. Better traction in the mud.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
> A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
>
************************************************** ******************
> Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
> A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at
> least 13 years old.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
> A. Marry it.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
> A. Your ass kicked.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
> A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
>
************************************************** ******************
> Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
> A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
> A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at
> thirty miles an hour.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Why do women call it PMS?
> A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's a mixed feeling?
> A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in
> your new car.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the height of conceit?
> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the definition of macho?
> A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
> A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
> A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. >
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
> A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
>
************************************************** ******************
> Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
> A. You know she'll swallow.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex
> Education on the same day in Iraq?
> A: They don't want to wear out the camel
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
> Jewish wife?
> A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
> A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know
> when it is bedtime?
> A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean
> the house?
> A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
> A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
> A. Because it's worth it
> Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
> A: Not being retarded
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
> A: Hypothermia
>
************************************************** ******************
> Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the
> battered wives' shelter?
> A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
> A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
> A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
> A: They don't fucking listen.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
> A: Gonorrhoea
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
> A. She rolls her own tampons.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
> A. Better traction in the mud.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
> A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
>
************************************************** ******************
> Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
> A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at
> least 13 years old.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
> A. Marry it.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
> A. Your ass kicked.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
> A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
>
************************************************** ******************
> Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
> A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
> A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at
> thirty miles an hour.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Why do women call it PMS?
> A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's a mixed feeling?
> A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in
> your new car.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the height of conceit?
> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the definition of macho?
> A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
> A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
> A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. >
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
> A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
>
************************************************** ******************
> Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
> A. You know she'll swallow.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex
> Education on the same day in Iraq?
> A: They don't want to wear out the camel
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
> Jewish wife?
> A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
> A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know
> when it is bedtime?
> A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean
> the house?
> A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
> A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
>
************************************************** *******************
> Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
> A. Because it's worth it
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