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politically incorrect jokes...

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  • Gordo
    replied
    some nice ones in there Flakey

    Leave a comment:


  • Flakey
    started a topic politically incorrect jokes...

    politically incorrect jokes...

    Don't read any further if you think you might be offended.


    > Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
    > A: Not being retarded
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
    > A: Hypothermia
    >
    ************************************************** ******************
    > Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the
    > battered wives' shelter?
    > A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
    > A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
    > A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
    > A: They don't fucking listen.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
    > A: Gonorrhoea
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
    > A. She rolls her own tampons.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
    > A. Better traction in the mud.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
    > A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
    >
    ************************************************** ******************
    > Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
    > A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at
    > least 13 years old.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
    > A. Marry it.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
    > A. Your ass kicked.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
    > A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
    >
    ************************************************** ******************
    > Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
    > A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
    > A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at
    > thirty miles an hour.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. Why do women call it PMS?
    > A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What's a mixed feeling?
    > A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in
    > your new car.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What's the height of conceit?
    > A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What's the definition of macho?
    > A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
    > A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
    > A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. >
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
    > A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
    >
    ************************************************** ******************
    > Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
    > A. You know she'll swallow.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex
    > Education on the same day in Iraq?
    > A: They don't want to wear out the camel
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
    > Jewish wife?
    > A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
    > A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know
    > when it is bedtime?
    > A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean
    > the house?
    > A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
    > A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
    >
    ************************************************** *******************
    > Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
    > A. Because it's worth it
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