Why bikes are better than women

[Tenchi]

C'mon people, give us your reasons. I'm putting this in response to poor Kwakas post on his woman making him choose between him and the bike. Maybe this will clarify it for the lad...

Some ones I came up with/seen around:
A bike would never ask you to choose between it and a girl...
A bike won't ask you over and over to take the trash out
You can ride a bike whenever, however, wherever you like... and it won't get cranky.
A bike won't get jealous if you take another bike for a test run
A bike doesn't go down to the pub and bitch to all the other bikes when you trade up.
In fact, when your bike is with other bikes, it doesn't bitch about you behind your back at all.
You can have more than one bike at the same time and they don't get angry.
You can ride a bike less than 16 years old.
You can do cosmetic surgery on a bike without it bitching that "you should love me as i am"
Bikes don't have that time of the month.
When riding, you and your bike both arrive at the same time.
You can ride a bike as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Bikes always feel like going for a ride.

And this one's for a good mate of mine... You can't get diseases from a bike you don't know very well.

[lee]

Biggest and best reason, and it's not even funny, is no matter how much shit some tramp is giving you, you go outside and your bike is parked there saying 'come onnnn, i wont let you down, lets get out of here'

bikes > women

[Sentry]

You can ride a bike as hard as you want and it wont complain. Not only that.. but it'll take it and beg for more

[THE GODFATHER]

Your bike wont leave you.
Maintinance cost less on a bike than an woman.
Bikes only make sweet sounds.

[Taylor]

When your woman gets a nail in her foot she can hop to the car and down to the doctors to get it sorted. Then maybe you hear about how you should have been around instead of working or some other essential but unthanked task for her.

The bike just sits there. Doesn't go get itself fixed, doesn't arrange for someone to come pick it up or even let you know something is wrong until you're going fast, the tyre gets very flat quickly, hit the bends and you go straight into the fucking fence.

[THE GODFATHER]

When your woman gets a nail in her foot she can hop to the car and down to the doctors to get it sorted. Then maybe you hear about how you should have been around instead of working or some other essential but unthanked task for her.

The bike just sits there. Doesn't go get itself fixed, doesn't arrange for someone to come pick it up or even let you know something is wrong until you're going fast, the tyre gets very flat quickly, hit the bends and you go straight into the fucking fence.

Ouch! You sound a little bitter with your bike-man relationships brother. Do you need a counsellor?:mellow:

[Satan1]

When your woman gets a nail in her foot she can hop to the car and down to the doctors to get it sorted. Then maybe you hear about how you should have been around instead of working or some other essential but unthanked task for her.

The bike just sits there. Doesn't go get itself fixed, doesn't arrange for someone to come pick it up or even let you know something is wrong until you're going fast, the tyre gets very flat quickly, hit the bends and you go straight into the fucking fence.

Poor girl was probably in pain for days before hand too

[Taylor]

I was watching Maury Povich, the one where all the girls leaving their guys because "they aren't around enough" to spend time with their "sit around at home" girlfriend/wife because they are working two jobs to buy her the shit she wanted. Then she goes and shags the unemployed loser simply because he's got nothing better to do that harass her about how her man should be around more to listen to the things she's been saying to him.

And yeah, bikes are better. Certainly more than the "8 potential fathers of her baby - find out who it is" skanks on Maury.

[CitizenD]

Here's something - The cook would walk into the room in a new outfit or shoe or some such thing and say, "What do think?"

And I'd reply honestly and sincerely, "I think you're asking the wrong person."

I didn't give a rats arse about what she wore. I had no opinion on it, nor was I honestly able to form an opinion about her choice of outfit. But...

I'll spend unlimited time and money dressing my bike up. Like a 6 year old girl with her Barbie dolls I'll spend hours mixing and matching different looks.

How the fuck does that work....?

[kyliejane]

here we go again..

i think you either know some "special" women or are doing something wrong :p

[CitizenD]

KJ, like the rest of us I assume you love unwrapping presents. Now is it because you like the paper, or is it because you just want to get your hands on the goodies inside?

[BigCat]

- bikes don't fart in bed
- bikes don't get stupidly pissed and make arses of themselves in public every week
- bikes are so satisfying you don't have to constantly think about a younger model to enjoy yourself whilst out riding
- with a bike you can go for a long hard ride whenever you want for as long as you want without a sore knob, carpet burns or having a mild heart attack
- and the best thing of all - bikes can't f#$king talk lol

[BigCat]

oh and i forgot to mention you can lock your bike in the shed for a week if its giving you the shits heheh

[kyliejane]

- bikes don't fart in bed
- bikes don't get stupidly pissed and make arses of themselves in public every week
- bikes are so satisfying you don't have to constantly think about a younger model to enjoy yourself whilst out riding
- with a bike you can go for a long hard ride whenever you want for as long as you want without a sore knob, carpet burns or having a mild heart attack
- and the best thing of all - bikes can't f# talk lol

so you're anti-women because your other half is a gassy, old alcoholic and you cant keep up in the sack?

[CitizenD]

I'm not anti-women in the least - quite the contrary - she could be in rags or a ballgown and I'd still want to use her thighs as earmuffs. Like I was saying, the wrapping means nothing, the goodies are on the inside.

Are you hostile towards men because they can get away with having a moustache and you can't?