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Blood ninja cyber

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  • Blood ninja cyber

    bloodninja : Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja : Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja : Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja : Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja : I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja : I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja : I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja : Don't **** with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja : I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes
    into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
    bloodninja : Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield
    inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja : King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals
    my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja : You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja : Baby?

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA : Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA : huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA : Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the ****, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA :
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP
    and say you were sending me kiddie porn you **** up.
    eminemBNJA : OheminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something


    sweet17 : Hi
    bloodninja: hello
    bloodninja: who is this?
    sweet17 : just a someone?
    bloodninja: A someone I know?
    sweet17 : nope
    bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
    sweet17 : well sorrrrrry
    sweet17 : I just wanted to chat with you
    bloodninja: why?
    sweet17 : nevermind your an jerk
    bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
    sweet17 : yes?
    bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
    sweet17 : paranoid?
    bloodninja: yes
    sweet17 : of what?
    sweet17 : me?
    bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
    sweet17 : LOL
    bloodninja: Don't ******* laugh at me!
    bloodninja: This **** is serious!
    sweet17 : What are you hiding from?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17 : gimme a ******* break
    bloodninja: I'm serious.
    sweet17 : I don't get it
    bloodninja: The cops are after me.
    sweet17 : For what?
    bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
    sweet17 : For???
    bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
    bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17 : You are ******* sick.
    bloodninja: Send me your picture.
    sweet17 : why?
    bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
    sweet17 : One of what?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17 : I'm not a cop i told you
    bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
    sweet17 : hold on
    bloodninja: Hurry up.
    bloodninja: Are you there?
    bloodninja: **** you, cop!
    sweet17 : Hey sorry
    sweet17 : I had to do something for my mom.
    bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
    bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
    bloodninja: Weren't you!?
    sweet17 : thats not it
    bloodninja: Then what?
    sweet17 : I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
    bloodninja: Most cops aren't
    sweet17 : IM NOT A ******* COP YOU ********!
    bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
    sweet17 : fine. What's your e-mail?
    bloodninja: Just send it through here.
    sweet17 : alright *PIC*
    sweet17 : Did you get it?
    bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
    sweet17 : That was me back in may
    sweet17 : I've lost weight since then.
    bloodninja: I hope so
    sweet17 : what?!?
    sweet17 : that hurt my feelings.
    bloodninja: Did it?
    sweet17 : Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
    bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
    sweet17 : yes
    bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
    sweet17 : kks
    bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
    sweet17 : this isn't you.
    bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
    sweet17 : You don't look like that.
    bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
    sweet17 : cause your profile has another picture.
    bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
    bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
    sweet17 : You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
    bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
    bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
    sweet17 : Go **** yourself
    bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
    bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
    sweet17 : I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
    sweet17 : You've done nothing but slam me.
    sweet17 : you hurt me.
    bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
    sweet17 : I thought you were bullcrapping me!
    bloodninja: Why would I do that?
    sweet17 : I can't believe that cops are after you
    bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
    sweet17 : **** YOU!!!
    bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
    sweet17 : You're a ******* *******!
    sweet17 : I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
    sweet17 : and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
    bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
    sweet17 : No you aren't
    bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
    bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
    sweet17 : I'm done with you
    bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
    sweet17 : I'm putting you on ignore
    bloodninja: Wait a sec
    bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
    bloodninja: Wanna start over?
    sweet17 : No
    bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
    sweet17 : You'll what?
    bloodninja: You heard me.
    bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
    sweet17 : I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
    bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
    sweet17 : I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
    bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
    bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
    sweet17 : Like what?
    bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
    sweet17 : I don't know
    bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
    sweet17 : I'm afraid to
    bloodninja: Why?
    sweet17 : cause
    bloodninja: cause why?
    sweet17 : well lets see
    sweet17 : you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
    sweet17 : doesn't that seem strange to you?
    bloodninja: Nope
    sweet17 : well its strange to me
    bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
    sweet17 : I didn't say that
    bloodninja: So is that a yes?
    sweet17 : I guess so.
    bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
    bloodninja: Are you willing?
    sweet17 : What do you need me to do?
    bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
    sweet17 : ???
    bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
    bloodninja: ok?
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17 : You can't be serious
    bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
    bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
    sweet17 : this is retarded
    bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
    sweet17 : Yes I want it.
    bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
    sweet17 : sure
    bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
    bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
    bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
    bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
    bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
    sweet17 : mmmm yeah
    bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
    sweet17 : Har
    bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
    bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
    sweet17 : HARRRRRRRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
    bloodninja: I softly suck on your **** bringing it in and out of my mouth.
    bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
    bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
    sweet17 : mmmmmm you are good
    bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17 : HARRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
    bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17 : this is stupid
    bloodninja: ...still limp
    bloodninja: Do it!
    bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *******.
    bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
    sweet17 : WTF?!?!?
    bloodninja: They stink really bad.
    sweet17 : OMG STOP!!!
    bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
    sweet17 : YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
    bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
    bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
    sweet17 : **** YOU *******!!
    bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
    bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
    bloodninja: ...going limp again.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    bloodninja: Say it!
    bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!


  • #2
    I've seen this before but goddamn is it funny.



    • #3
      That is a classic. Makes you wonder doesnt it? wtf is going on in some peoples heads. Full on.
      Some people...... 8)


      • #4
        BWHAHAHA .. i almost fell off my chair laffin .. fark all the ppl in the office are looking at me ... oops

        Some say he eats sidchrome for breakfast

        Some say he only showers on even days of the week

        Some say he put an R1 motor in a coffee machine

        All we know is he's Hewie.


        • #5
          man these are funny...

          Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
          Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
          Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from smells funny.
          Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
          Wellhung: OK
          Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
          Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
          Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
          Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
          Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
          Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
          Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
          Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
          Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
          Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
          Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
          Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
          Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
          Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
          Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
          Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
          Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
          Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
          Sweetheart: What?
          Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
          Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
          Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
          Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
          Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
          Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
          Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
          Sweetheart: What's the matter?
          Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
          Sweetheart: Are you OK?
          Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
          Sweetheart: Can I help?
          Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
          Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
          Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
          Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
          Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
          Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
          Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom? I can't find it.
          Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
          Wellhung: I found it.
          Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
          Wellhung: Me too.
          Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
          Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
          Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?
          Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
          Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
          Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
          Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
          Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
          Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
          Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
          Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
          Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
          Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
          Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put know know...woman's thing.
          Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
          Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
          Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
          Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
          Sweetheart: What?
          Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
          Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
          Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
          Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
          Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
          Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
          Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
          Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
          Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
          Sweetheart: "logged off"