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Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

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  • Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
    2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
    7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
    8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    Daily Thought:
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. THEY'RE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHENYOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.

  • #2
    ^^^ In homage to the above, feeling deeply touched, and somewhat bored, Princess Deb throws her hat in the ring:

    9. Having Vegetarians over for dinner? Serve them a nice juicy steak. Since they're always going on about how their soy/tofu stuff tastes exactly the same, they shouldn't be able to tell the difference.
    10. Athletes: If you have taken performance enhancing drugs recently, disguise it by running a bit slower.
    11. Run out of ribbed condoms? Slip some frozen peas into a regular one.
    12. Ladies, take advantage of two-for-one deals when grocery shopping, by putting one item into your shopping basket, and one into your trenchcoat.
    13. Don't waste laundry powder - you can wear one pair of underpants four times before washing: forwards, backwards, inside-out-forwards and inside-out-backwards.
    14. Do you spend hours each week ironing tablecloths, pillowcases and teatowels? Of this sounds like you, then get a life.
    15. No doubt your vegetarian friends have made their special dietary needs known to you (and everybody else). When dining at their house, remind them of your special dietary needs, and ask for a big juicy steak.
    16. Remember, one out of every four people suffer some form of mental illness. So if your three friends seem okay, then that person is probably you.
    Daily thought:
    YOU'RE SPECIAL. JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
    https://parodieslost.blog/

    Comment


    • #3
      Deb, had some issues with Vegans lately?

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      • #4
        Jerky Day... ahhh the memories...
        Find me on Instagram

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