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2007 Darwin Awards Contenders

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  • 2007 Darwin Awards Contenders

    Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners:

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger. This time it worked.

    And now, the honorable mentions:


    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-slicer and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have
    a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.


    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.


    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how lose
    he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K Motel, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer..$15.

    (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder-block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder-block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder-block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on The head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.


    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called "911" immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove Back to the store.
    The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    ***A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER***


    When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he'd bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

    just remember ….they walk among us!

  • #2
    ***A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER***
    Flamedance

    for posting the text in white, making it a bitch for anyone not using the black skin to read
    FTP

    Comment


    • #3
      Is that better for you now cupcake?

      Comment


      • #4
        At least these ones aren't recycled. The ones released earlier this year are the same as the ones released in 2003 but the other one i found when i used the search engine was also different. There was a single story out there also.
        I reckon Darwin could have used a search engine. Do you think the people who spread the word of this great philosopher are just grateful there are people out there less intelligent than them? Not they were just less lucky.
        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          Much better, princess.
          FTP

          Comment


          • #6
            You put the c*nt in country run

            Comment

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