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  • #61
    Oink!

    You talk about domination, but have you ever caress her spine with your fingertips, Bedded her for the night, or gotten lost in her beauty?

    Comment


    • #62
      moo!
      http://www.insearchofacocktail.com - Check it!

      Originally posted by lee
      how is that erotic? that's some chick laying on a towel on the floor with her hand down some where's wally knickers with preposterously sized fake cans and shaving rash around her hooch.

      Comment


      • #63
        Illegal drag racing
        Attached Files
        Increasing my carbon footprint - one 500 @ a time...

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        • #64
          ^^ bahahaha

          classic
          Originally posted by CBRsairz
          assume nothing Macca, I've totally been cockblocked before :spiteful:

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          • #65
            George Bush has a heart attack and dies. Obviously he goes to hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.
            'I'm not sure what to do,' says the Devil. 'You're on my list, but I have no room for you.

            As you definitely have to stay here, I'm going to have to let someone else go.
            I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
            I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their
            place. I'll even let you decide who leaves.'

            George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
            The Devil opened the first room. In it were Richard Nixon and a large pool of hot water.
            He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over.
            Such was his fate in hell.

            'No!' said George. 'I don't think so, I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could stay in hot water all day.'
            The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time.

            No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day.' commented George.
            The Devil opened the third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a

            spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
            George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while, and finally said 'Yeah, I can handle this.'
            The Devil smiled and said, 'OK, Monica, you're free to go!'

            Comment


            • #66
              Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they
              are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce
              goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
              Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, 'Mr. Smith, me and Jenny
              are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.'
              Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies,
              'Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?'
              Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies,
              'In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there
              nicely.'
              Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge
              grin, 'Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a
              job. You'll need to support Jenny.'
              Again, Bruce instantly replies, 'Our allowance. Jenny makes five
              bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a
              month and that should do us just fine.'
              Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.
              'Well Bruce, it seems like you have every thing figured out. I just
              have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have
              little ones of your own?'
              Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, 'Well, we've been lucky
              so far.'

              Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

              Comment


              • #67
                I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

                Some doctor on tele this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel.

                Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pec

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                • #68
                  Do not leave alcohol near your pumpkins!

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                  • #69
                    I didn't get it in an email but saw it today. It's a bit funny :-P

                    Click here to see my Ducati 999R in the PSB garage... You'll love it!

                    Don't click here to see my ZX9R aka The Ginger Ninja... there's no link!

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by NanoBear View Post
                      I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

                      Some doctor on tele this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel.

                      Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pec

                      I was reading this thinking, "What the hell is up with this guys spelling, it was great at the start...", then I realised that was part of the joke. Boy do I feel stupid ;P
                      http://www.insearchofacocktail.com - Check it!

                      Originally posted by lee
                      how is that erotic? that's some chick laying on a towel on the floor with her hand down some where's wally knickers with preposterously sized fake cans and shaving rash around her hooch.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        (Passing requires only 4 correct answers)


                        1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

                        2) Which country makes Panama hats?

                        3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

                        4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

                        5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

                        6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

                        7) What was King George VI's first name?

                        8) What color is a purple finch?

                        9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

                        10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?





                        Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.

                        Check your answers below.


                        ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

                        1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

                        2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

                        3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

                        4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November

                        5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

                        6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?Dogs (canines)

                        7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

                        8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson

                        9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

                        10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)


                        What do you mean, you failed?


                        Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they may feel useless too

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                        • #72
                          A bloke goes to the doctors as he's having problems with premature ejaculation. The doctor tells that when he feels like he's coming, take his mind off it by giving himself a fright - by firing a starters pistol into the air. Two days later the doctor sees him again and asks how it went. The bloke says not so good. "We were having a sixty-niner, I felt myself starting to come so I fired the gun." "My wife shit on my face, bit my cock off and the milkman jumped out of the wardrobe with his hands up!"
                          Click here to see my Ducati 999R in the PSB garage... You'll love it!

                          Don't click here to see my ZX9R aka The Ginger Ninja... there's no link!

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Do you need cheering up? Watch your wedding video backwards! You love the end bit where you take the ring off, go back down the hall, jump in the car and piss off with your mates for an evening of booze and strippers!
                            Click here to see my Ducati 999R in the PSB garage... You'll love it!

                            Don't click here to see my ZX9R aka The Ginger Ninja... there's no link!

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Permission denied...
                              Attached Files

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                just got it - GOLD!

                                SUCH IS LIFE

                                Originally posted by lee
                                I hope you choke on a donut, and when you do I'm going to inappropriately hit on your grieving widows.

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