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  • Best PMT Question Ever






    Q:How many women with PMT does it take to change a light
    bulb?





    Woman'sAnswer:



    One!
    ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? because no one else in this f***n house knows HOW to change a f***n light bulb!
    They
    don't even know that the f***n bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE f***n DAYS before they figured it out.
    And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the god damned light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the f***n chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME f***n SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER
    THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO F**er EVER
    PICKS UP OR CARRIES
    OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED
    FROM THE F***N PILES OF GARBAGE THAT


    ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE F***N HOUSE!!
    IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND
    DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES

    THE F***N TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

    I'm sorry.


    What was the question?

















    Increasing my carbon footprint - one 500 @ a time...

    Comment


    • Comment


      • a few home truths about reindeer...

        REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME
        According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
        Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

        We should've known?...ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
        A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!

        Comment


        • A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

          "Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"

          "Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

          The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

          The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"

          "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

          The little girl looked up at the cop and said,

          "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Manda'rin View Post
            REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME
            According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
            Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

            We should've known?...ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
            A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!
            There's only one reason a bunch of chicks do the bidding of a man in a velvet suit.....
            "In all the human societies we have ever reviewed, in every age and in every state, there has seldom if ever been a shortage of eager young males prepared to kill and die to preserve the security, comfort and prejudices of their elders, and what you call heroism is just an expression of this fact; there is never a scarcity of idiots." -The Culture

            Comment


            • ^^Gold.
              sigpic

              Comment


              • Just for Daise:

                It was announced today that the local climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as 'English weather.'
                In order to avoid offending a sizable portion of the population, it will now be referred to as 'Muslim weather.'
                In other words - 'partly Sunni but mostly Shi'ite.'

                Comment


                • Quote of the day:
                  'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her
                  sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you
                  a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give
                  her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what
                  is given to her.

                  So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'
                  Increasing my carbon footprint - one 500 @ a time...

                  Comment


                  • Once upon a time,

                    A guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
                    The girl said, 'NO!'
                    And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles
                    and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and
                    drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and
                    farted whenever he wanted.

                    THE END

                    Comment


                    • Dear All

                      Due to the current financial situation caused by the
                      slowdown of economy in US since last Christmas, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPEd can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPEd and SHAFTed will be reviewed under the SCREW
                      scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPEd once, SHAFTed twice and SCREWed as many times as Management deems appropriate.
                      Persons who have been RAPEd can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTed or SCREWed any further by management. Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
                      Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your
                      Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT
                      you can handle..

                      Sincerely,

                      The Management

                      Comment


                      • What that tequila stuff does
                        Attached Files
                        Increasing my carbon footprint - one 500 @ a time...

                        Comment


                        • resignation note
                          Attached Files
                          Increasing my carbon footprint - one 500 @ a time...

                          Comment


                          • nice resignation note!
                            As a general rule, the better it felt when you said it, the more trouble it's going to get you into.

                            'Soul' - Italian word for unreliability.

                            For a way to start racing cheap, go here > http://supermotowa.com

                            Comment


                            • necessary for all bikes lol
                              Attached Files
                              "if u go to bed with an itchy bum..u might wake up with a smelly finger"
                              "children in front seat of car can cause accidents...but, accidents in back seat of car can cause children"

                              Comment


                              • motorbike rollercoaster!
                                Attached Files
                                "if u go to bed with an itchy bum..u might wake up with a smelly finger"
                                "children in front seat of car can cause accidents...but, accidents in back seat of car can cause children"

                                Comment

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