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  • The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical assistance.

    He called her into his office and said "You graduated university and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

    The secretary thought for a moment and then replied "Everything but my earrings".


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
    DO NOT TOUCH - Probably the most unsettling thing to read in braille.

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    • A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

      The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"

      The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

      When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.

      This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

      Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

      "We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
      "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.

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      • Talk about Irony......

        Sent from my Redmi Note 4X using Tapatalk
        " Imagination is the seed of life..."

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        • Originally posted by GsxInShed View Post
          Talk about Irony......

          Sent from my Redmi Note 4X using Tapatalk
          very handy for your friendly neighborhood Motard rider, spray the chicks as you go past to avoid hazardous leaks :-)

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          • I'm certain you have capsicum spray confused with wd-40...?
            " Imagination is the seed of life..."

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            • A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans, but was told by the clerk, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat foot to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat." So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food. . . .

              The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof. So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food. . . .
              One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."

              The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and exclaimed, "That smells like crap." . . . The lady replied, "It is. I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

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              • Last edited by Silent Bob; 29-01-2019, 04:01 AM.

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                • Yeah, what the fuck dude.
                  Originally posted by Desmo
                  Why be a cunt about it?

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                  • Why good grammar is important









                    What You See

                    Isn't always what you get

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                          • how this turkey... whisky throttle into someones front door, looking at the kickstart & whats left of the pipe it was only a 125

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                            • Originally posted by Hillz
                              this little guy had a bad time Australia day eve, must have got hit by a truck & flung into my yard. was paralyzed from the arms down so i got my mate to come who takes out roos often for dog food etc

                              wacked it on the head a few times put it down the back until morning no biggy, got up early to dispose of it so the kids didn't get freaked out.. thing was still breathing! so i thought fuck this and grabbed the machete biggest hardest swing i could do & it just bounced off it's neck like a blunt stick. so i had to crush it with a cinder block

                              here is the censored picture, id like to think he just had to much to drink with his mates lol
                              you're an fucking arsehole for doing this

                              you're a fucking sociopath for thinking its funny

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                              • i put the fucking thing out of its misery.. i just thought my attempt at compassion was a bit novelty as it had more lives than a cat...

                                what would you have done Mr Perfect? 10.30pm on a friday night with a roo in your yard that could only use its arms.. i'll just call you next time aye? take it to a 24hour vet or someshit lol.. the things are a pest no point saving a half fucked one

                                i did what i could with what i had
                                Last edited by Hillz; 04-02-2019, 09:56 AM.

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