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  • Anti-jokes

    A duck walked into a pharmacy and asked, "Do you have any chapstick?"

    The pharmacist looked at the duck and said, "We don't serve ducks here."







    Why did the blonde jump off a bridge?

    Because she was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life.



    So there are two muffins in an oven.
    Neither of them say anything, since they are both inanimate objects with the inability to speak.
    They are baked and then served to two little kids that eat them.



    So a blonde applies for a supervisor job at Best Buy. She has the experience and the references needed to get the job and she's hired.



    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.




    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because horses lack the intellectual capacity for speech. It sways uncertainly for a moment before wandering back out the way it came.



    Two men are sitting in a pub.
    One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men
    coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she
    has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'



    A man is walking through the desert dying of thirst when he comes across a magic lamp and rubs it.
    The lamp is of no use to the man as it contains no means of sustenance so he continues his journey.
    Have you won the game recently?? Post here



  • #2
    Isn't the whole idea of an anti-joke that people are expecting a joke? A thread full of anti-jokes isn't going to be funny.
    FTP

    Comment


    • #3
      What do anti-jokes aim for? Awkward silence?
      Originally posted by Amac
      suck me on the hat you mole fucker, steroid affected me cock

      Comment


      • #4
        i still like 'em
        Have you won the game recently?? Post here


        Comment


        • #5
          A man walked into a pub. It was an Iron Pub.

          *boom tish*

          Fuck a bar dammit a bar it was a Bar!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Bunyack View Post
            Knock, knock.

            Who's there?

            The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
            Very famous torts case along the same lines, the wife successfully sued for nervous shock
            Originally posted by Melkor
            The Saint is all over the answer like a Saint on a cupcake.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Bunyack View Post
              So a blonde applies for a supervisor job at Best Buy. She has the experience and the references needed to get the job and she's hired.
              im sorry but that is fuckin hilarious...
              The greatest excitement comes from besting who you were yesterday.

              Comment


              • #8
                thread wins.

                Never heard of these jokes before.

                I like.
                Ello

                Comment


                • #9
                  i got a laugh from the text
                  IM ALWAYS ON THE EDGE, ITS ONLY THE SHARPNESS THAT VARYS

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Wouldn't try them at a party though...
                    http://jupiterstravellers.org

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      i laughed
                      sigpic
                      2008 ZX14 SE
                      'Prowl'

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        A man is walking through the desert dying of thirst when he comes across a magic lamp and rubs it.
                        The lamp is of no use to the man as it contains no means of sustenance so he continues his journey.



                        Why did the chicken cross the road?

                        It was the first step of his epic journey that was about to unfold. He had yearned to see the world ever since he was a young chick, staring out across the landscape from behind the cruel wire fence. His incarceration had only served to fuel his thirst for adventure though, which only made it more disappointing when he was hit by the speeding toyota.


                        How many asians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

                        One. The simple task of screwing in a light bulb can be easily accomplished by any ethnic group.




                        Yo Mama's so fat that she was instructed by the doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease or even a heart attack later in life.



                        What's the difference between men and women?

                        There are various obvious and subtle differences between genders and to summarise these in one sentence is over simplistic.



                        Horse walks into a bar. It gets scared, stumbles upon a couple of people and it had to be euthanized. A person dies.


                        Guy walks into a bar, gets drunk, then goes home and beats his wife.


                        A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and following strict religious observance only imbibed a moderate amount of wine.
                        Have you won the game recently?? Post here


                        Comment


                        • #13
                          heheheheheheheheheh

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            A priest and a rabbi are sitting on the plane next to each other. However, it's a very short flight and they don't talk to each other.

                            Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind abush, a rabbit leaps out
                            and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders
                            off.

                            Why couldn't the kids get into the new pirate movie?
                            Because it was rated MA, and they were all 12, and no parent was with them, and the ticket guy wouldn't let them in cause he didn't want to get fired in this economy.


                            What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
                            One of them was the first man on the moon, and the other touches little kids.


                            Q : Why did Sally fall off the swing?
                            A : Because she had no arms.

                            Why was six afraid of seven?
                            because seven ten eleven.


                            A man died. What transpired after he passed the veil of death is beyond the knowledge of the living.


                            Why do women fake orgasms?
                            Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.


                            A man walks into a pub.
                            He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Likey
                              Be patient or become one.

                              Ride with Passion. Ride with Purpose. Ride with Pride.

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