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  • Advice/opinion re ex wife drama

    Ex wife (who I am now good friends with) has got herself into a difficult situation which I'm attempting to help her with...

    Short version: She was going out with a total wankstain for almost a year (last year). He is a real loser, NFA, no assets, crap job, but thinks he is a hard man (funnily enough I thought he was a shortarse having met him but she tells me he is 6'3" and over 100Kg, funny how you can get the wrong image from a persona...)

    He moved into her (Still partly my) house for a few months but contributed nothing.
    He stole around $3000 from her bank account (she had given him access for convenience)
    She acted as guarantor on a GE loan which he used to buy a car (old Saab convertible!!)

    They have split now and he refuses to pay the loan. She has told him she will take the car instead but he says "No I need it"...

    In before the inevitable "She is a fool" etc, we both agree on that.

    So... where to from here?
    She doesn't know his address but he has told her he now lives with "Bikies" (his words)
    From things he has told her he will likely torch the car before it gets repossessed to spite her.
    He has made veiled threats and been to her house late at night banging on the door and scaring her and more importantly my teenage daughters.
    She tried to get restraining order but was told she can't because he hasn't yet harmed anyone!!

    My suggestion after talking to a mate in finance is she gets a letter written by a lawyer to GE explaining the situation, tells them no further payments will be made and voluntarily surrendering the car for repo.

    She then pays the difference and hopefully doesn't kill her credit rating.


    In the end prolly a $10K lesson which I told her she can put behind her and move on.

    I know, TL;DR but that really is the short version.

    Any ideas?

  • #2
    Possiably hire a private investigator to find where he's living and report findings to bank/repo guys. Might end up being a cheaper option.
    Does she know any of his mates who might be decent people and they can help out ?
    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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    • #3
      Legally, advise the police of what is occurring and throw in the "bikie" reference and your concern for the daughters, which may get their attention. At least make them very aware of his behaviour and keep reporting it. I like the reporting to the finance co idea, good luck with that though.

      Dodgy, tell his new mates he dobbed you into the cops once and go from there.
      They hung a sign up in our town "If you live it up, you won't live it down"-Tom Waits

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      • #4
        Take the course that is less likely to provoke him. He may or may not be involved with bikies, but for your daughter's and ex's sake, why risk it? I think this is a hard lesson for your ex to learn, but what was suggested by your finance friend about the car sounds like the best course of action.
        If he continues to come around late at night then get the police involved.
        Good luck.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Tic View Post
          Possiably hire a private investigator to find where he's living and report findings to bank/repo guys. Might end up being a cheaper option.
          Does she know any of his mates who might be decent people and they can help out ?
          Might be worth a look at the PI idea...
          Don't think he actually has any mates, and certainly not decent ones.
          Main reason they split was that he and my 19YO daughter clashed (no surprise) and that the exwouldn't kick her out as he demended...

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          • #6
            transfer the car into her name, get insurance, then let him burn it??

            he goes to jail - makes more deadbeat friends
            she gets cash instead of sh!theap
            your problem solvered

            everyone is happy!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by out_in_front View Post
              transfer the car into her name, get insurance, then let him burn it??

              he goes to jail - makes more deadbeat friends
              she gets cash instead of sh!theap
              your problem solvered

              everyone is happy!
              Would be good except you can't transfer ownership without his consent...

              Just had a thought though, I bet it isn't insured so would she be able to insure her interest in it as guarantor? :hmm:

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              • #8
                Click image for larger version

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ID:	4879038 = problem solved.

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                • #9

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                  • #10
                    Hmm-so he's 6'3", over 100 kilos, and lives with 'bikies' , but goes to a womans houses in the middle of the night to frighten the shit out of her?
                    Sounds more like a fuckwit and a fucken coward. From a few of the lads I know , they wouldn't tolerate that sort of shit , and would definitely not be happy about being included in any of this type of issue/ behaviour. [NOBODY like being dragged into something when the cops get involved.]

                    Ask the wanker which crew he is living with , I'm pretty sure they aren't any of the local boys.

                    Also , a bloody Saab convertible? , he is no hard man.

                    Might be time to tell the prick to give the car back , or a few of the local crew you know may stop by late one evening for a nice cup of tea to discuss the matter at hand...
                    Sventek, being a predominantly lazy fuck can you please purchase some for me, bring me the stuff, create something I want after you think of it for me then clean my house, wash my car, dog, bike breathe for me.

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                    • #11
                      Stopped by and had a chat with the ex tonight. She says he has told her today that he has sold the car... but still won't give her the money.
                      She doesn't know where he lives or where the car was being kept.
                      He is apparently "looking for me" (I'm in the phone book haha) and is clearly (based on other things she has told me) a combination of stupid and unstable...
                      He also told her that he is declaring bankrupcy, and "would rather go to jail than give her anything" because she apparently "ruined his life" by telling him to leave rather than our 19YO daughter...

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                      • #12
                        The car has to be insured- from what you are saying its a secured loan and as such it is a condition of the loan that it be insured. Generally they demand it be insured for a year and its paid for when the loan is issued so if its within a year that he bought it- prob insured. If not insured, its a breach of contract and automatic repo generally (Different loans can have slightly varying rules). She should have/ be able to get a copy of those rules- the ones she signed.
                        As guarantor, I believe she can also have the car transferred into her name if he isnt paying and she is. She may be able to do that and then charge him with car theft since he is physically preventing her from accessing the car. Insurance claim might be a bit murky though, but generally if youre willing to press charges they will pay out. Murky because once you give someone permission to drive/ access vehicle, its a lot harder to remove that permission legally speaking.
                        The rules on guarantor are designed to keep it simple for the banks- this happens all the time. Basically they wont help you.
                        If she keeps a diary recording his visits (along with video etc if she can) she will- depending on how often he goes there- be able to get a restraining order under the stalking laws, however, last I heard, death threats are grounds anyway. Cops hate giving them out though, she needs to make big waves in the cop shop, maybe get a lawyer.

                        She made every basic mistake. Its gonna be hard to fix. On the bright side, I wouldnt worry too much about the 'bikies', its her own stupidity that will hurt her the most.
                        Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...

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                        • #13
                          All I got out if this was a 19 year old daughter.......

                          Anyways seriously dude get onto the cops this sort of stuff can get ugly.

                          Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk
                          Every one has a story.....

                          http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/foru...updates-82338/

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                          • #14
                            Stalk him ,
                            track him down like prey.
                            Consume his liver with black been, soy and ginger
                            dance naked under a willow tree throwing the remaining body parts gleefully into the air.
                            Last edited by shan; 20-03-2011, 06:07 AM.
                            REPENT MOTHER FUCKER
                            (anarchy in english )

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by shan View Post
                              Consume his liver with black been, soy and ginger
                              Don't you mean Fava Beans and a nice bottle of Chianti
                              #1 Gold Ticket Holder for the Barfridge Fan Club
                              Originally posted by Phildo
                              Noted. We'll check back on that one in three years
                              Originally posted by filbert
                              i'll pretend you didn't know she was 13

                              98 BADASS TITANIUM BLACKBIRD - Past bikes 1982 XS250 Yamaha & 1983 CB750F with 900 motor
                              Ozblackbird.net Administrator

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