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The Teflon Man

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  • The Teflon Man

    Have you met a "Teflon Man"?

    He's the person at work who is so full of shit, knows little about what he's doing, but manages to never have shit stick to him. It just slides off and settles on everyone else.

    How do you deal with the "Teflon Man"?

    If you can't beat them, tell us how you became the TM.
    Last edited by Gippo; 04-12-2013, 07:19 AM.
    Its all good on Ducati's

  • #2
    Use metal implements to scratch the surface, then the teflon is rooted and everything sticks and can't be washed off properly.
    They hung a sign up in our town "If you live it up, you won't live it down"-Tom Waits

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    • #3
      I've had a few co-workers and also client reps in this situation in the past and find the following usually works fairly well:

      If someone is really annoying me then for our weekly meetings I'll offer to write up the meeting minutes and then make sure their name is clearly against every action/task they are given. E-mail it out ASAP after the meeting with a 'please review your tasks and complete blah blah'. Then the next week I'll include a section 'outstanding tasks not completed last week' which their name is usually all over.

      Every task I need them to complete gets e-mailed to them with clear instructions. CC in the relevant manager/s as well. If I get no response then follow it up with a reminder e-mail, or phone call, which also goes in the diary. If they still haven't done it then I print off the e-mails and bring them in to the next meeting so that when they say 'oh I must have missed that e-mail' I can go 'these two? And the phone call on the XXth last week?'. It is also fun to outline where we 'could' be if that work had actually been done. (profits, progress, time saved etc)

      If they are still useless and part of my team/company then I'll speak to my manager if they are affecting my work, usually once they are aware things change pretty quickly.
      If they are still useless and part of another company (client/subbie/whatever) then I'll start going above them to their manager saying 'Mr/s X still hasn't done this from two weeks ago, do you have the answer/document/whatever, need it urgently'

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      • #4
        Introduce Teflon Man to non-stick Sally (the useless biatch behind the desk that feigns workload but actually achieves SFA).
        They'll get busted whilst sliding around on the storeroom floor together - problem solvered.

        S.
        Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

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        • #5
          Teflon man normally doesn't know shit from clay.
          they do however know how to mimic and spout words they have heard , they try to do this sooner than the people who actully do know there shit to superiors, with a spin of they saved the day often thrown in.

          Feed the Teflon man shit, make it sound good but make sure it is not possible, just sounds good.
          let the lols flow, I have done this on many occasions ,
          always funny as fuck .
          REPENT MOTHER FUCKER
          (anarchy in english )

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Gippo View Post
            Have you met a "Teflon Man"?



            If you can't beat them, tell us how you became the TM.
            Sorry, becoming TM is simply a rare gift bestowed on a select few of us.

            The rest of you can try with feigning/having razor sharp wit, formidable intellect and situationally unreasonable vocabulary. Confusing folks is always useful for avoiding accountability. "Pareidolia" has been my personal favourite for months.

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            • #7
              Usually nothing sticks because they are so far up the boss's......orifice!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by shan View Post
                Teflon man normally doesn't know shit from clay.
                they do however know how to mimic and spout words they have heard , they try to do this sooner than the people who actully do know there shit to superiors, with a spin of they saved the day often thrown in.

                Feed the Teflon man shit, make it sound good but make sure it is not possible, just sounds good.
                let the lols flow, I have done this on many occasions ,
                always funny as fuck .
                Evil, evil bastard.






                "Once upon a time we would obey in public, but in private we would be cynical; today, we announce cynicism, but in private we obey."

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                • #9
                  Your problems can be solved by reading John Clarke, Working with Monsters.
                  The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe.

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                  • #10
                    Its worse when they own the small business you work for.

                    You can't win.

                    Just fuck with their heads until they sack you.
                    Whatcha gonna do? Rap is not afraid of you
                    Beat is for Sonny Bono, beat is for Yoko Ono

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