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  • okitoki
    replied
    2 older sister...
    Oldest at Sydney.... have the older sister complex where she thinks everything is against her... 2nd sister is the smarter and prettier one and im the youngest boy so i get eveything .... blames my parents for everything wrong in her life but never give them credits when she is riding the success... doesnt know how to talk to the family but treats her friends better than us. Even my mom cant be bothered to talk to her.

    Second sister is a successful and rich Malaysian O&G engineer married to another successful O&G engineer... so pretty well off... knows their stuff... but they carry the same attitude when talking to other people... talk down on us like we are idiots... maybe im just an accountant, and every companies i worked for is tiny compare to their O&G global company.....

    We dont call each other... and we last had a family reunion during our fathers funeral.... both sis cant stand each other... and i alternate seeing one when i go back to KL and the other when mom comes to Perth.

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  • =Maz=
    replied
    An only child...Mum and Dad had a nasty split when I was 2 and my father became one of the very few single-fathers out there and Mum moved to the UK...at the time there was only a single-mothers allowance/pension so Dad worked. Shift-work on the mines and raising a child wasn't the easiest and I stayed 1 week out of three with another family(during Dads Afternoon-shift week) and spent all my school holidays in Perth with my maternal Grandmother & Grandfather.
    Family was most important to my Grandmother and she basically held the family together...once she died we all pretty much went our own way.
    My favourite Aunt and Uncle live in the UK...haven't seen them in 3½yrs. They came to Aus this month for 2 weeks I saw them once because they were busy with other stuff.
    Mum lives overseas...haven't seen her in 3½-4yrs.
    Haven't heard fuck all from my cousins in 3 or 4 years...couldn't even be fucked coming to my daughters 21st(or replying to the invite in some circumstances). I have a step-cousin(is there such a thing?) that I have more in common with than the ones I share blood with, and more interest in catching up with...he lives no further away than the cousins I share blood with.

    It's got to the point that I know they don't want anything to do with me(I do tend to be abrasive and you either like me or you don't so I can deal with that) or my family(this is the bit that hurts me).
    The most recent visit cemented things for me...I will just focus on my family(the immediate ones) and if I hear from the ones that I share my Grandmothers blood with, I'll make small talk and get on with my life again.

    Family are just people...you don't have to get along with them just because they are related to you.
    I'll focus my family-energy on my wife and kids...and try to do better than my family did about keeping a close bond between us.

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  • TROUBLE
    replied
    Much Respect for you for Not going down the easiest path and being like the rest.

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  • fetus
    replied
    Mine is probably a very weird circumstance compared to most I have one sister to the same father, one sister and one brother to a different father. I am the oldest. My full sister is 2 years younger than me, my half sister 5 years younger and half brother 7 years younger.

    I lived with all siblings until I was 13. Then the younger twos father gained custody of them. At this point also my mother was in and out of hospital a lot with mental issues and me and my sister were living with random relatives/family friends and not always together either (Something pretty common the whole time we were growing up really, often all seperated for months at a time). At 16 as I was no longer anyones legal responsibility I was forced to live on my own while my sister lived with some family friends as she couldn't really be around my mother alone.

    Things were way more complicated than that but that's a summary.

    So growing up I got along on and off with my full sister, always hated my half sister (still dislike her, not sure of the reason growing up but i'll explain why i dislike her now further on) and got along on and off with half brother. Out of all my siblings I think I liked my half brother the most, but when his father got custody of him we never saw eachother and lost that bond. I mean we still fought heaps but all brothers do I think.

    Currently I get along quiet well with my full sister. She took a while to get her shit together but with our childhood I did too a bit, now she is married has kids and a job (Finally, thought she might turn out never working like my mother as she unfortunately does/did have a few of her bad traits but she seems to be working on getting rid of them).

    My half brother and sister still don't even slightly have their shit together and are on and off living with my mother in melbourne now, after they turned 18 their father wanted little to do with them. They are obviously influenced strongly by her as neither of them work or have any goals at all in life.

    My half brother thankfully seems to be putting a little bit of effort in, getting jobs here and there but he never keeps them and gets fired for the stupidest reasons, I think eventually he will get there but he won't take advice from me or anyone. I try and encourage him by congratulating him each time he gets a new job etc but there's only so much I can do. I rarely talk to him as he is on the other side of the country, mostly just keep in contact via facebook. He comes to WA sometimes but I don't make an effort to see him. If I do I do, if I don't I don't. I neither like or dislike him really he just exists, is related to me, and as with any person I know I want to see them succeed in life but it's up to them to do so.

    My half sister has taken the worst sides of my mother, and the worst sides of her father, and combined them to be a super lazy person with no common sense whatsoever, who married a guy who she met a few weeks beforehand.. who had brain damage from a "one punch" incident which is probably why he was willing to put up with her shit, then divorced (they lasted a couple of years atleast I guess), moved to melbourne and thankfully seems to be in a less stupid relationship with a slightly smarter guy now. She has said before that she never uses contraception just (thankfully) has never concieved. If she ever does I am calling DCP as this person does not have the capacity to be a parent. I believe she may have a mental disibility of some sort but nothings ever been diagnosed. I cannot see myself ever getting along with her.

    I see other people have mentioned parents so i'll do an update to add that my dad could die today and I wouldn't care. Wouldn't go to his funeral, I think very few people would. My grandma on his side passed away and we didn't even find out for a year after, he didn't care to tell us (I guess I should have visited her more but when her dementia got so bad that she literally had no idea who I was I don't think it was doing either of us any good for me to do so. I also was never very close to her growing up but I did love when I did get taken to see her as a kid but yeah, my family life is all fucked up).

    My mother I do not go out of my way to talk to, but I still care about her somewhat. She may be a narcisist and have put our lives in danger many times and been outright neglectful regularly when we were children, but there were times she tried, even now she tries to do nice things every now and then. I guess in a way I love her but there is as much bad as good to her and I like to be careful. My son loves her and she is always nice to him but I am always wary and know she can be extremely manipulative so am careful with how much I let him be exposed to her, thankfully her being on the other side of the country helps.
    Last edited by fetus; 20-04-2016, 07:50 AM.

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  • BOFH
    replied
    I am an only child but grew up with 42 first cousins. My Dad is still back in Ireland & I hope to go back for a couple of months next year and spend some time catching up with everyone.

    I have a cousin in Perth but I have more in common with her kids as she's a good bit older than me.

    When I was growing up, (the only child of an alcoholic Dad and a prescription drug addicted Mum who hated each other), I would have loved to have siblings to share the pain with.

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  • Halo_2
    replied
    I have a younger brother and sister get on well most of the time, my brother reminds me of the 'little train that could' always trying but doesn't really get anywhere. My sister is ok in small doses and I also have a half brother that can see will be a no hoper in life, his been in a country school his whole life now in year 6 and can't even spell later or most basic words.

    Friends : don't really have any to say there better then family, I know if I need help mums there for me she has been a great help did heaps around my house travelling all the way from gero several times.

    Relatives are nothing more then people with the same last name to me (mostly their back stabbing / gossiping / talk about how family is important but don't do much for each other), mums relatives are the same don't want much to do with them either.

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  • Para045
    replied
    Originally posted by Joe Shabadoo View Post
    lol..came to this thread with totally different expectations of topic...
    Remind you of your childhood in Tasmania?

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  • Barfridge
    replied
    Dad was married twice, had 6 kids in total, 3 with each wife. I'm the middle child of the second marriage.

    - Oldest half-brother is a honest, hard working gentleman. I have all the time in the world for him.
    - Next is a half-sister who is lovely, but timid and always sick with something. She lives in rural Tasmania looking after one of her sons, who has ongoing liver problems (not alcohol related)
    - Last from that lot is another half-brother, who feels perpetually persecuted. He's also manipulative and will do almost anything to get his own way. I stopped talking to him when he accused my mother of deliberately withholding pain medication from dad when he was on his death bed in hospital. Even after medical records were produced he wasn't convinced, too busy trying to take Dad's car before he was even buried, let along the will read.

    - Oldest sister is fine in small doses, but can be hard work. About 10 years ago she was rear ended on her motorbike, and ended up with ongoing back and hip damage. All she wanted in life was to have kids, but medical problems prevented that, so she gets depressed a bit. As do I, so how well de get along depends on our respective moods at the time.
    - Then there is me, a stupid jerk with a stupid face like a jerk.
    - My little sister is a joy. Relaxed, easy going and fun to be around. She has raised 2 well mannered kids, keeps a good relationship with her ex-husband and likes to party when she can.

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  • Joe Shabadoo
    replied
    lol..came to this thread with totally different expectations of topic...

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  • Noizey
    replied
    i have one sister... we are in the same house but don't speak as much as we'd like.. more so because we have different schedules.. as teens we were at each other's throats.. as adults we're ok...

    will share one. (i wasn't born in australia so the origin of this story is from my first home country). grandma is eldest of 11. growing up, she was treated like a maid, not given education, had to look after all her siblings, didn't get any inheritance, nothing. actually even till today she's 89, her mind is very sharp only until very recently. anyway, long story short, the rest of the siblings were given some inheritance, land title, property etc.. so all siblings got a fair share. the youngest son being the favourite, got the biggest. apartment blocks, land, property etc.. somehow everyone is competing (unhealthily) against each other, and out of these 11, only a few are ok with each other and hate the rest. the smart ones move away to europe, canada and U.S. and never heard from again. One of them actually was kicked out because he married an aussie lass. last contact anyone had was when he was in Darwin, but rumour has it he's retired in Adelaide.

    anyway... my point is, they all have an ego problem, all about showing off status, property, cars, houses, their children's education. the whole lot of them are educated yet cant help but show off. all but my grandma, who was married off young but fortunately to an intelligent person (bless my grandpa). If we were given a share of the inheritance, our lives would be much different but having nothing meant we worked for what we had and even though we don't have much compared to everyone else, as soon as my grandma passes on i am not speaking to any of them anyway. mum isn't happy about that but thats because the chinese way is all about respect. i am of the view respect is a two way street.
    Last edited by Noizey; 29-03-2016, 02:14 PM.

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  • boeman
    replied
    We are a close family as a whole. I see my parents twice a week at least, love them to bits.

    One sister is 7 years older. Fairly close, but drifting a bit of late because she is married with 2 young kids, and I don't like kids at all. I struggle seeing them as all they talk about are their kids, which either leads to her bursting into tears or laughing with joy. I think we will remain pretty close though once I learn to tolerate kids.

    Other sister is 4 years older. Never speak to her, haven't done so for about 5 years. She has broken my trust a few times and I just called it quits after giving her probably 1 or 2 more chances than she deserved, and I couldn't be happier. We say hello at Christmas if she comes (lives in NSW), and that is it. Keep it civil in front of Mum but otherwise I ignore her and her attempts to contact me. She constantly cries for attention, saying all her friends hang out with the brothers and why don't we do that. I sometimes remind it is because she is a cunt and I don't want to hang out with her just so she can #brother and get some likes on Instagram. She is everything I despise in a person.

    Can't pick you family, but if you play it smart you can spend time with the ones that you like.

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  • agrid
    replied
    Here's a complicated story. My mum was from Perth, married an American sailor and went to the USA and had a boy and a girl. She split with him, married another American sailor and had me and my sister. Mum and dad went to a new years eve party and left me and my sister with the older siblings. Mum and dad got t-boned turning into our street when I was one so my sister and I were sent back to Australia to be raised by and aunt and uncle. The new parents didn't tell us we were adopted until we were 21 years old. They also didn't tell us we had a half sister and brother in the USA. We discovered that when I was about 40 years old when the adoptive parents were dead. We tried to strike up a friendship with the half-siblings. It turned out to be too much for the half sister who said she didn't want to deal the the complex situation, and then woke up dead a few years later. I had a bit of a friendship with the half brother who liked to fix things and ride motorbikes. I visited him in California about half a dozen times but he turned out to be a conservative republican dickhead that I couldn't bear to spend any more time with so I disowned him. My full sister in Australia is into religion, peace, love and goodwill while I'm into science, beer, bbq and motorbikes so I haven't seen her for a few years. I have a good life, a beautiful wife, kids, and two Ducatis so fuck 'em, its their loss.

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  • Flyboy
    replied
    Older brother I could take or leave. Only reason I still see him is for his kids (I won't allow my grievances with him to sour things with my nephew and niece). He and I disagree on most things, as he is extremely risk adverse and especially hates motorcycles. When I had my big off a while back and was in hospital, he was the only one not to visit me as he was 'too busy'. He makes use of emotional and moral blackmail and will quite happily use people to his own ends. If ties were cut off all together, I doubt it would worry me very much, if at all. He is a man who has convinced himself that he is superior to all others in all situations.

    Younger brother is a complete pain in the arse, but we get along great (most of the time). We have our disagreements but I'll always be there to help him out and pick him up when he needs it. He and I can at least have a beer and a laugh. And even if he isn't into bikes, he appreciates the allure of them and keeps trying to convince me to build a cafe racer.

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  • Gothchick
    replied
    I have two half sisters (we had the same mother) but I have seen one of them once in the last 10 years and the other twice, as she actually showed up to my wedding last August.

    I have gained a 'sister' though, who is actually no blood relation to me. My mother and her father were together for 20something years, before my mum passed away.

    She is one of my very small group of important people.

    I have never had a father, so now, aside from her, I have nobody left. Except nanna who has Alzheimer's.
    I have my husband and kids and they are all I need 😀

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  • nos
    replied
    There is nothing more important in this world to me than my family and I would give up everything for them.

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