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Santa Physics *warning: science content*

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  • Santa Physics *warning: science content*

    i was telling people about this last night
    and thought i'd just post it
    so next time someone asks you how santa can visit everyone in one night you now have the answer


    Taken from Dr Karl - Santa's Frantic Ride


    Practically everybody has heard of Santa Claus - that rosy-cheeked, bearded, slightly overweight, elderly white Caucasian male. Santa's Job Description is to give gifts to good children at Christmas time, but nasty surprises for bad children. But just recently, we've had our first scientific Time-And-Motion Job Evaluation of Santa's work. If he pushes the Laws Of Physics to their very limits, he can just barely achieve his Mission Statement.


    Our basic time-and-motion analysis starts off by telling us that there are roughly 2 billion children under the age of 18 in the world. This makes for a huge delivery task, but luckily for Santa, only about 15% of the children are Christian. So Santa does not visit Muslim, Hindu, Shinto or Buddhist children, but only some 380 million Christian children. On average there are 3.5 children living in each household, so Santa has to visit about 108 million separate homes.


    If you work out the maths, Santa does not have a lot of time to deliver the presents. Luckily for Santa, the Earth rotates, and there are 24 different time zones. So if Santa travels from East to West, Christmas Day lasts for 31 hours. That works out roughly to 1,000 visits per second to the Christian households. So in a whole thousandth of a second, Santa has to park the reindeer and the sleigh, slip nimbly down the chimney, fill the stockings, neatly scatter whatever presents are left over under the tree, eat the lollies that have been left out for him, and get back up the chimney into the sleigh and then to the next house. That's a lot of stuff to do in just one thousandth of a second.

    According to the numbers, Santa has to travel very quickly between the households. Now let's assume that these 108 million Christian households are evenly scattered around the Earth. That means that there are about 1.25 kilometres between each household, so Santa has a total trip length of about 120 million kilometres. Unfortunately, this means that his average speed is around 1,000 kilometres per second, or roughly 3,000 times the speed of sound.


    So not only does Santa have a very short delivery time at each house (one thousandth of a second), he has to travel very rapidly between each delivery - about 1,000 kilometres per second. But if the speed of Santa's sleigh is one problem, so then is his payload. Suppose each kid gets about one kilo of presents. Then the sleigh is carrying around 400 thousand tonnes of presents. Now reindeer are not very good at pulling more than about 150 kilos. So Santa needs around 360,000 reindeer, which would weigh another 50,000 tonnes, giving us a total mass of (very roughly) half-a-million tonnes.


    Now if you have half a million tonnes travelling at about 1,000 kilometres per second, you've got enormous wind resistance. The lead pair of reindeer would have to deal with some 15 quintillion joules of energy each second. No wonder they call him Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer, as this enormous amount of energy would not only immediately make the lead reindeer burst into flames, as well as vaporising the entire reindeer team and the half-million tonne sleigh with Santa and the presents within a few thousandths of a second - but it would create sonic booms that would deafen everyone within about 50 kilometres, and enormous shock waves that would flatten every tree and building within 50 kilometres.


    But on the other hand it wouldn't really matter, because Santa would be decelerated by the wind resistance from 1,000 kilometres per second to a dead stop in about a thousandth of a second, so our jolly 125-kilogram Santa would be thrown forward onto the vaporised reindeer with the equivalent weight of some 2 million kilograms, turning him into a thin red layer of protoplasm that would be destroyed by the expanding shock wave. Luckily, Santa Claus has lots of Little Franchisee Helpers (called parents) all around the world who turn his Vision Statement into World's Best Practice - otherwise Santa Claus would be a very Splattered - oops!, a very Sad Cause.

    Now doesn't that make everyone feel festive?


    MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
    ellE

    jenius

  • #2
    santa is magic
    If cleanliness is next to godliness, why was jesus a dirty sandal-wearing beardo?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by semi View Post
      santa is magic

      yeah that was my conclusion to

      he spits in the face of the laws of Physics
      ellE

      jenius

      Comment


      • #4
        I think santa died when i was 4 years old
        LIVE TO RIDE AND RIDE TO LIVE
        LET THOSE WHO RIDE DECIDE

        'Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out,
        shouting 'FUCK YEAH ...WHAT A RIDE!'

        REGRET NOTHING YOUVE DONE


        Comment


        • #5
          physics gets no presents this christmas, only potatoes and coal
          If cleanliness is next to godliness, why was jesus a dirty sandal-wearing beardo?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by De-evolve View Post
            Our basic time-and-motion analysis starts off by telling us that there are roughly 2 billion children under the age of 18 in the world.
            Groovy.

            So how many children aged 18 and over are there in the world, Dr Karl?
            Originally posted by Melkor
            The Saint is all over the answer like a Saint on a cupcake.

            Comment


            • #7
              funny stuff

              Comment


              • #8
                and i thought santa only delivered to good lil boys n girls = 0

                (cmon now...EVERY little kid has been naughty atleast a few times this year)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by zoikz View Post
                  and i thought santa only delivered to good lil boys n girls = 0

                  (cmon now...EVERY little kid has been naughty atleast a few times this year)

                  he still has to deliver them coal
                  ellE

                  jenius

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I feel less intelligent for having read that.

                    Thanks ellE.
                    In complete darkness we are all the same. It is only our knowledge and wisdom that seperate us. Dont let your eyes deceive you.
                    Its the little things that make the difference
                    Originally posted by IPIT on relationships
                    If either/both of you can take a dump with the other person being next to you within a week of meeting them then you're in with a VERY good chance.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Aphex View Post
                      I feel less intelligent for having read that.

                      Thanks ellE.

                      No prob

                      i try very hard to lower you all to my level
                      ellE

                      jenius

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        But I know what realy goes on...
                        In complete darkness we are all the same. It is only our knowledge and wisdom that seperate us. Dont let your eyes deceive you.
                        Its the little things that make the difference
                        Originally posted by IPIT on relationships
                        If either/both of you can take a dump with the other person being next to you within a week of meeting them then you're in with a VERY good chance.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          What if santa flew backwards around the world fast enough go back in time like superman?


                          (yes, i realise the whole notion is absurd, but we *are* in a thread dealing with some imaginary fat bastard paedophile who breaks into people's houses at night...)
                          “Crashing is shit for you, shit for the bike, shit for the mechanics and shit for the set-up,” Checa told me a while back. “It’s a signal that you are heading in the wrong direction. You want to win but crashing is the opposite. It’s like being in France when you want to go to England and when you crash you go to Spain. That way you’ll never get to England!” -- Carlos Checa

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            He would have to find a wormhole in order to keep the balance in the spacetime continuum as if he simply travelled backwards around the world at that speed, the disruption to the earths magnetic field caused by a forgein body traveling at such speed would have a catestropic effect on the earth in a number of ways which i cant be arse going into right now but should be obvious to the scientificly minded amongst you.

                            Now getting back to the STC, should he travel fast enough so as to disrupt the earths MF, he is not that far off creating a black hole like vortex smack bang where by that stage, our lovely blue planet once was. This will cause the solar system to imediately colapse in on itself eventually followed by the universe which would quite obviously seriously fuck the balance with the STC as any wormholes present in the universe prior to collapse would thus be compressed causing the very fabric of time itself to become so distored so as to become unrecognisable.
                            In complete darkness we are all the same. It is only our knowledge and wisdom that seperate us. Dont let your eyes deceive you.
                            Its the little things that make the difference
                            Originally posted by IPIT on relationships
                            If either/both of you can take a dump with the other person being next to you within a week of meeting them then you're in with a VERY good chance.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              wtf??? Santa is real bitches!
                              (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda awkward

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