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Best insults - high brow

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  • Best insults - high brow

    Sometimes I want to hurl an insult at someone and get a little tongue tied. Especially at work, amongst parentals or in front of the innocent little kiddies.

    Help me out.

    I'm looking for the best insults ever. This thread is HIGH BROW so has roolz:

    - No profanity
    - No racial/religious references etc

    These need to be the kind of well thought out insults that you could use anywhere. Where the sentiment of the insult is very very clear but where I can't be busted/fired/executed for saying naughty stuff.
    "Once upon a time we would obey in public, but in private we would be cynical; today, we announce cynicism, but in private we obey."

  • #2
    Have you got a hypothetical situation?

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    • #3
      It all depends on the situation, I don't think you can have one single "atomic bomb" insult.
      If you get tongue tied and can't deliver, maybe you shouldn't be attempting highbrow insults?

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      • #4
        id insult you, but i know you wouldnt understand...
        Posted via Mobile Device
        "Heaven doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over"

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        • #5
          I find you fundamentally unlikeable.
          Originally posted by Ferris
          I love how PSB has turned into "Dear Martha"

          Figure shit out yourselves, retards.

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          • #6
            My favourite is Winston Churchill's riposte when Lady Astor said "Winston you are drunk" he looked at her and said "and you my dear are ugly...but in the morning i shall be sober!"

            Pure class

            blzbub

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            • #7
              Mmmkay, this isn't really trying to arm me for a scenario. I just want people to start hurling insults. But classy ones.
              "Once upon a time we would obey in public, but in private we would be cynical; today, we announce cynicism, but in private we obey."

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              • #8
                Borrow from Churchill, and Wilde CSF - real wit with slashing sharp undertones...

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                • #9
                  NOOOOOOOOooooo

                  POST YOUR OWN INSULTS. POST THEM HERE. ENLIGHTEN AND ENTERTAIN US WITH YOUR WIT LADEN CRUELTY!!!1!
                  "Once upon a time we would obey in public, but in private we would be cynical; today, we announce cynicism, but in private we obey."

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                  • #10
                    I couldn't give a rotund rodent's rectum what your opinion is.

                    You my friend, are perambulating the circumference of veracity.
                    In complete darkness we are all the same. It is only our knowledge and wisdom that seperate us. Dont let your eyes deceive you.
                    Its the little things that make the difference
                    Originally posted by IPIT on relationships
                    If either/both of you can take a dump with the other person being next to you within a week of meeting them then you're in with a VERY good chance.

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                    • #11
                      I always liked "I wouldn't want to enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed man" (or similar)

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                      • #12
                        Is this thread a Raffles-free zone?
                        Originally posted by Melkor
                        The Saint is all over the answer like a Saint on a cupcake.

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                        • #13
                          'your parents must have been related!'

                          stollen from here

                          [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSEgeg-3ts0]YouTube - chopper read make dead shits history[/ame]


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                          • #14
                            I once used this statement to our GM:
                            Godfather: "Can you do this, or should I get my son in to do it?"
                            GM: "What does your son do?"
                            Godfather: "he goes to school, he is 10 years old, but he could do a better job than you."

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                            • #15
                              My Dearest Simon,
                              I write this not as a fellow forum goer but as a man who has tried to shape his life in your image.

                              I don't think I could have chosen a better role model to help me through the difficult decisions life throws at me on my journey. Your inspiration has been a guiding light when I am but surrounded by darkness.

                              What good would a life of aspiration be, without those moments of reflection, critical self analysis and guidance.
                              So, here I sit ruminating on all the changes I have enacted in my life since I met you.
                              I have begun to believe in myself, be positive about my physical state, listen to what others have to say, be helpful and polite.
                              Then it hit me, after all these years, I have reached the pinnacle, I am no longer aspiring to be like you, I AM like you....

                              Almost! I must, it seems, seek your counsel one further time.

                              I have taxed the very bowels of my soul searching for an answer to what I feel is the last question, the question that will complete me!

                              Why is it, when I have remade myself in your image, does my mother now refer to me as; A supercilious, porcine, intrusive, controlling, condescending twat with all the personal ambition of a children's crosswalk attendant.

                              Yours in anticipation,

                              Dave
                              Last edited by Kryzaach; 26-06-2009, 10:24 AM.
                              "In all the human societies we have ever reviewed, in every age and in every state, there has seldom if ever been a shortage of eager young males prepared to kill and die to preserve the security, comfort and prejudices of their elders, and what you call heroism is just an expression of this fact; there is never a scarcity of idiots." -The Culture

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