Ex Boy/Girlfriends

[darth lefty]

A couple of other threads have had me thinking about this; do girlfriends always turn into poisonous, vindictive women for a period of time immediately after becoming your ex?

In my experience - and relative to others, it will be limited - I've found it to be sometimes the case, I've lost two circles of mutual friends in the past. Admittedly, they weren't great or close friends, but it was largely on the basis of the rubbish and lies coming from these two ex-girlfriends that I quickly dropped out of contact with these people.

Better yet, does the dumped person have a right to feel scorned all the time? Certainly there can be a case made for cheating/dumped for another, but in the instance where it's just a fizzle or you grow apart, is it really necessary to spend the next x number of weeks/months exaggerating and embellishing the bad bits of a relationship for the sole purpose of demonising your ex?

Is it even helpful for the moving on process?

[Crashlington]

bonus points to whoever puts nude photos along with the story.

[Tic]

Im actually friends with every single one of my ex girlfriends. I still keep in contact with the majority of my exs on a semi-regualr basis. Its about on par for me wanting to end it or her wanting to end it.
Never really had anything to messy happen. Only once with the usual reason was the i dont want to be in a relationship one. And jump straight into a "friends" bed. But it was over between us, so no harm no foul. Kinda

Iv always thought forgive and move on. Theres others out there. Not worth ruining friendships over. I personally feel with every realationship iv had i learn something new and hopefully improved myself.

[who me?]

All women are poisonous and vindictive at some time aren't they lol

Seriously though I really think it has many variables, how long the relationship was for, were you friends before, if so how long, what happened to cause break up, etc etc. From my personal experience though i still talk to all of my ex boyfriends if i ever bump into them but would never say we are 'friends', not for any other reason than when we split and moved on we moved in completely different directions, if we still did anything remotely in common still, i see no reason why we couldn't be good mates again. BTW all splits were initiated by different parties and were for a whole variety of reasons.
Dont know if this helped at all but hope it did

[rcradical]

Well apparently the exaggerating/embellishing is, otherwise it wouldn't be so popular. It would appear by making the move to draw conclusions that maybe you have grown apart, you are in fact betraying said partner, and some form of revenge is required.

I take my mother as a shining example - 10 years and the bitterness still overflows.

In my experience, it does seem to be the case. The sympathy card seems to be a winner. I've lost a group of mutual friends once, and kept another, due to said friends seeing how OTT she was being.

[Desmo]

A couple of other threads have had me thinking about this; do girlfriends always turn into poisonous, vindictive women for a period of time immediately after becoming your ex?

No.
They always were, you were just too busy getting your cock wet to notice.

[darth lefty]

Im actually friends with every single one of my ex girlfriends. I still keep in contact with the majority of my exs on a semi-regualr basis. Its about on par for me wanting to end it or her wanting to end it.
Never really had anything to messy happen. Only once with the usual reason was the i dont want to be in a relationship one. And jump straight into a "friends" bed. But it was over between us, so no harm no foul. Kinda

Iv always thought forgive and move on. Theres others out there. Not worth ruining friendships over. I personally feel with every realationship iv had i learn something new and hopefully improved myself.

I mostly agree with you here. However, of the two that I alluded to in my first post - and maybe this is just pot luck - one claimed that she dumped me (first lie there) after she found me cheating on her with a mutual friend. Simply not true. Had never, did never, and would never have happened. I figured most people would be able to work that out for themselves and just left it as a woman scorned doing what the proverb says.

Turns out people are stupid and they believed her. :mellow:

That's the sort of stuff I'm getting at... does it need to happen for the other party to move on/feel better about themselves? I appreciate that being on the other end of breaking up is about as close to intimate personal rejection as it gets, but does that mean that you need to go off the deep end and assassinate the other person's character for it?

[Fastgirl]

depends how its ended IMO. If the person doing the dumping is an arsehole about it...then yeah it can tip a woman from eprfectly fine to a vengeance fillled madwoman in 2.3 seconds or less. Just dont cheat or dump her in an ugly way.

[who me?]

I take my mother as a shining example - 10 years and the bitterness still overflows.

Maybe that is an older person thing or something, my mum is the same after 18yrs!! However most younger people i know seem to move on a lot quicker and are not so bitter.

[Randomman]

I'll say yes. My second ex thought that because I dumper her that I was the devil - still thinks it to this day. Yet she was the skanky whore that kept flirting with me and saying no when I asked her if she wanted to try again. So I made sure I cut her real deep then severed all contact. :awesome:

You're not breaking up with them for the sole purpose to see them be miserable and cry, yet they'll treat you as if that was your reasoning.

(Could also be attributed to men of questionable sexuality)

[rcradical]

depends how its ended IMO. If the person doing the dumping is an arsehole about it...then yeah it can tip a woman from eprfectly fine to a vengeance fillled madwoman in 2.3 seconds or less. Just dont cheat or dump her in an ugly way.

That sometimes doesn't make a difference.

[darth lefty]

I'll say yes. My second ex thought that because I dumper her that I was the devil - still thinks it to this day. Yet she was the skanky whore that kept flirting with me and saying no when I asked her if she wanted to try again. So I made sure I cut her real deep then severed all contact. :awesome:

You're not breaking up with them for the sole purpose to see them be miserable and cry, yet they'll treat you as if that was your reasoning.

(Could also be attributed to men of questionable sexuality)

You're failing at this thread.

It only works if you've to the best of your knowledge not done anything to incite the hate bringing.

I'd suggest that more than just breathing in this instance, you've done it anyway.

[Spuddy]

I think its very easy to be bitter about things, whether youre the dumpee or the dumper - its so simple to fall into that pattern, even though it doesnt really aid the process one bit.

I'm on good terms with all of my ex's, but I did have a bitter period with some of them first. Sometimes you can feel yourself sliding into that frame of mind and catch yourself before you act on it. But I really think only time can heal those wounds, and all that matters is how you behave as that time passes.
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[browncow]

In my experience, most of the time, yes..

My last gf is a horrible harpy of a woman.
Before that, I harbour no grudge against her.
Earlier than that was highschool birds, but yeah they got pretty fucking bitchy..

Just dont cheat or dump her in an ugly way.

Not always possible.

[Barfridge]

Either I have been very very lucky, or I only go out with the less crazy ones